Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
The Wise Husband
By Sammyah Hussainat
The wise husband is the one who knows what he wants from a marriage. Does he want to add a strong brick to the big building of a strong Muslim Ummah? Does he want to cooperate with his wife on doing what is good and obeying Allah (saw) until they both meet him? Does he realize the nobility of the marriage institution and the goals of the marriage, and that they require great sacrifices?
The wise husband is the one who gives more than he receives. He is the one who dresses nicely for his wife, and keeps himself clean just as he demands from his wife that she beautify herself and dress nicely for him. He is the one who realizes that his wife is a human being just like him who likes to see him handsome, clean, and smiling. He is the one who distances himself from all that may annoy his wife or makes her feel inferior. He is the one who does not advise his wife in public or disgrace her, especially in front of family and friends. He is the one who does not criticize her in public at all. He is the one who does not ridicule her appearance if he does not like the way she is dressing. He is the one who assists her in all ways to reach her best. He is the one who gives advice in a loving and compassionate manner. He is the one who does not compare her to other women.
The wise husband is the one who tells his wife that he does not imagine a more beautiful and ethical women than her. The wise husband is the one who balances his love, and respect for his mother with his love and devotion to his wife and his family. Being a good son does not come by hurting his wife, even for his mother. It comes through loving his mother, and being a devout and religious man in a manner that balances respect to both. He is the one who constantly reminds both, whenever they clash, of the instructions of the Prophet (pbuh) in his treatment of his wives and family.
The wise husband is the one who enters home with a smile on his face. He is the one who asks his wife “how was your day?” and makes sure things go well with her and with the family. He is the one who listens to her, and never makes her hear what she does not want to hear. He is the one who respects her and shows her how much she means to him, and how important she is to his life privately and publicly. He is the one who praises her, and shows others how much he values her, respects her, and loves her in front of his family, especially if they do not like her or respect her. He is the one who remembers his family in front of her in a nice manner so she gets to love them, and reconcile with them and knows the value of being a member of a big family.
The wise husband is the one who reminds his wife from time to time how much he loves her and respects her, and shows her how much he appreciates her beauty and morality. The list is long. To conclude, the wise husband is the believer who does his best to follow the Prophet’s (pbuh) teachings and his manner of treating his wives and his devotion to his family.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Mansour Az Zahraany Quran Recitation (MP3)
Mansour Az Zahraany
1. (008) Surah Al Anfal
2. (012) Surah Yusuf
3. (014) Surah Ibrahim
4. (017) Surah Al Israa'
5. (019) Surah Mariam
6. (026) Surah Ash Shuara'
7. (032) Surah As Sajdah
8. (039) Surah Az Zumar
9. (040) Surah Al Mu'min
10. (050) Surah Qaaf
11. (051) Surah Ad Dzariyat
12. (052) Surah At Tuur
13. (055) Surah Ar Rahman
14. (061) Surah As Saaf
15. (062) Surah Al Jumu'ah
16. (063) Surah Al Munafiquun
17. (070) Surah Al Maarij
18. (071) Surah Nuh
19. (072) Surah Al Jinn
20. (073) Surah Al Muzzammil
21. (074) Surah Al Muddaththir
22. (075) Surah Al Qiyaamah
23. (076) Surah Al Insaan
24. (077) Surah Al Mursalaat
2. (012) Surah Yusuf
3. (014) Surah Ibrahim
4. (017) Surah Al Israa'
5. (019) Surah Mariam
6. (026) Surah Ash Shuara'
7. (032) Surah As Sajdah
8. (039) Surah Az Zumar
9. (040) Surah Al Mu'min
10. (050) Surah Qaaf
11. (051) Surah Ad Dzariyat
12. (052) Surah At Tuur
13. (055) Surah Ar Rahman
14. (061) Surah As Saaf
15. (062) Surah Al Jumu'ah
16. (063) Surah Al Munafiquun
17. (070) Surah Al Maarij
18. (071) Surah Nuh
19. (072) Surah Al Jinn
20. (073) Surah Al Muzzammil
21. (074) Surah Al Muddaththir
22. (075) Surah Al Qiyaamah
23. (076) Surah Al Insaan
24. (077) Surah Al Mursalaat
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
A Successful Marriage: The Missing Link
By Yasmin Mogahed
“And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between you; verily, in that are signs for people who reflect.”
[Surah Ar Ruum:21]
We’ve all read this verse on countless marriage announcements. But how many have actualized it? How many of our marriages really embody that love and mercy described by Allah? What is going wrong when so many of our marriages are ending in divorce?
According to Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, author of Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs, the answer is simple. In his book, Eggerichs explains that extensive research has found that a man’s primary need is for respect, while a woman’s primary need is for love. He describes what he calls the “crazy cycle”— the pattern of argumentation that results when the wife does not show respect and the husband does not show love. He explains how the two reinforce and cause one another. In other words, when a wife feels that her husband is acting unloving, she often reacts with disrespect, which in turn makes the husband act even more unloving.
Eggerichs argues that the solution to the “crazy cycle” is for the wife to show unconditional respect to her husband and for the husband to show unconditional love to his wife. This means that a wife should not say that first her husband must be loving before she will show him respect. By doing so, she will only bring about more unloving behavior. And a husband should not say that first his wife must be respectful before he will show her love. By doing so, he will only bring about more disrespectful behavior. The two must be unconditional.
When I reflected on this concept, I realized that looking at the Quran and prophetic wisdom, there are no two concepts more stressed with regards to the marital relationship.
To men, the Prophet said,
“Take good care of women, for they were created from a bent rib, and the most curved part of it is its top; if you try to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, it will remain arched, so take good care of women.”
[Bukhari & Muslim]
He has further stressed:
“The most perfect believer in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.”
[Al-Tirmidhi]
Allah says:
"And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allâh brings through it a great deal of good."
[Surah An Nisaa':19]
The prophet has also said,
“A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.”
[Muslim]
In these jewels of wisdom, men are urged to be kind and loving towards their wives. Moreover, they are urged to even overlook their wife’s faults when showing that kindness and love.
On the other hand, when addressing the wife, the focus is different. Why are women not told again and again to be kind and loving towards their husbands? Perhaps it is because unconditional love already comes naturally to women. Few men complain that their wives do not love them. But many complain that their wives do not respect them. And it is this sentiment which is most stressed in the Quran and Sunnah, with regards to wives.
Respect can be manifest in a number of ways. One of the most important ways to show respect is the respect of one’s wishes. When someone says, “I respect your advice”, they mean “I will follow your advice”. Respecting a leader, means doing what they say. Respecting our parents means not going against their wishes. And respecting one’s husband means respecting his wishes. The Prophet has said: “
When any woman prays her five, fasts her month, guards her body and obeys her husband, it is said to her: Enter paradise from whichever of its doors you wish.”
[At-Tirmidhi]
Why are we as women told to respect and follow the wishes of our husbands? It is because men are given an extra degree of responsibility. Allah says:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers (qawwamun) of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means..”
[Surah An Nisaa':34]
But won’t this unconditional respect towards one’s husband put us, as women, in a weak, submissive position? Won’t we set ourselves up to be taken advantage of and abused? Quite the contrary. The Quran, the prophetic example, and even contemporary research have proven the exact opposite. The more respect a woman shows her husband, the more love and kindness he will show her. And in fact, the more disrespect she shows, the more harsh and unloving he becomes.
Similarly, a man may question why he should show kindness and love towards even a disrespectful wife. To answer this question, one only needs to look at the example of Omar Ibn ul-Khattab. When a man came to Omar (who was Khalifah at the time) to complain of his wife, he heard Omar’s own wife yelling at him. While the man turned to leave, Omar called him back. The man told Omar that he had come to complain of the same problem that Omar himself had. To this Omar replied that his wife tolerated him, washed his clothes, cleaned his home, made him comfortable, and took care of his children. If she did all of this for him, how could he not tolerate her when she raised her voice?
This story provides a beautiful example for all of us—not only for the men. This story is a priceless illustration of tolerance and patience, which is essential for any successful marriage. Moreover, consider the reward in the hereafter for those who show patience: Allah says,
“Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning.”
[Surah Az Zumar:10]
“And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between you; verily, in that are signs for people who reflect.”
[Surah Ar Ruum:21]
We’ve all read this verse on countless marriage announcements. But how many have actualized it? How many of our marriages really embody that love and mercy described by Allah? What is going wrong when so many of our marriages are ending in divorce?
According to Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, author of Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs, the answer is simple. In his book, Eggerichs explains that extensive research has found that a man’s primary need is for respect, while a woman’s primary need is for love. He describes what he calls the “crazy cycle”— the pattern of argumentation that results when the wife does not show respect and the husband does not show love. He explains how the two reinforce and cause one another. In other words, when a wife feels that her husband is acting unloving, she often reacts with disrespect, which in turn makes the husband act even more unloving.
Eggerichs argues that the solution to the “crazy cycle” is for the wife to show unconditional respect to her husband and for the husband to show unconditional love to his wife. This means that a wife should not say that first her husband must be loving before she will show him respect. By doing so, she will only bring about more unloving behavior. And a husband should not say that first his wife must be respectful before he will show her love. By doing so, he will only bring about more disrespectful behavior. The two must be unconditional.
When I reflected on this concept, I realized that looking at the Quran and prophetic wisdom, there are no two concepts more stressed with regards to the marital relationship.
To men, the Prophet said,
“Take good care of women, for they were created from a bent rib, and the most curved part of it is its top; if you try to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, it will remain arched, so take good care of women.”
[Bukhari & Muslim]
He has further stressed:
“The most perfect believer in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.”
[Al-Tirmidhi]
Allah says:
"And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allâh brings through it a great deal of good."
[Surah An Nisaa':19]
The prophet has also said,
“A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.”
[Muslim]
In these jewels of wisdom, men are urged to be kind and loving towards their wives. Moreover, they are urged to even overlook their wife’s faults when showing that kindness and love.
On the other hand, when addressing the wife, the focus is different. Why are women not told again and again to be kind and loving towards their husbands? Perhaps it is because unconditional love already comes naturally to women. Few men complain that their wives do not love them. But many complain that their wives do not respect them. And it is this sentiment which is most stressed in the Quran and Sunnah, with regards to wives.
Respect can be manifest in a number of ways. One of the most important ways to show respect is the respect of one’s wishes. When someone says, “I respect your advice”, they mean “I will follow your advice”. Respecting a leader, means doing what they say. Respecting our parents means not going against their wishes. And respecting one’s husband means respecting his wishes. The Prophet has said: “
When any woman prays her five, fasts her month, guards her body and obeys her husband, it is said to her: Enter paradise from whichever of its doors you wish.”
[At-Tirmidhi]
Why are we as women told to respect and follow the wishes of our husbands? It is because men are given an extra degree of responsibility. Allah says:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers (qawwamun) of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means..”
[Surah An Nisaa':34]
But won’t this unconditional respect towards one’s husband put us, as women, in a weak, submissive position? Won’t we set ourselves up to be taken advantage of and abused? Quite the contrary. The Quran, the prophetic example, and even contemporary research have proven the exact opposite. The more respect a woman shows her husband, the more love and kindness he will show her. And in fact, the more disrespect she shows, the more harsh and unloving he becomes.
Similarly, a man may question why he should show kindness and love towards even a disrespectful wife. To answer this question, one only needs to look at the example of Omar Ibn ul-Khattab. When a man came to Omar (who was Khalifah at the time) to complain of his wife, he heard Omar’s own wife yelling at him. While the man turned to leave, Omar called him back. The man told Omar that he had come to complain of the same problem that Omar himself had. To this Omar replied that his wife tolerated him, washed his clothes, cleaned his home, made him comfortable, and took care of his children. If she did all of this for him, how could he not tolerate her when she raised her voice?
This story provides a beautiful example for all of us—not only for the men. This story is a priceless illustration of tolerance and patience, which is essential for any successful marriage. Moreover, consider the reward in the hereafter for those who show patience: Allah says,
“Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning.”
[Surah Az Zumar:10]
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Hasan Khalil's Lectures (MP3)
Hasan Khalil
1. Islam & Sexual Relationship part 1
2. Islam & Sexual Relationship part 2
3. Islam & Sexual Relationship part 3
4. Islam & Sexual Relationship part 4
5. Islam & Sexual Relationship part 5
6. Islam & Sexual Relationship part 6
7. Islam & Sexual Relationship part 7
8. Islam & Sexual Relationship part 8
9. Shaitan (Devil)
10. Dunya Series - The Dunya Session 1 & 2
Abu Usamah Adh-Dhahabi's Lectures (MP3)
Abu Usamah Adh-Dhahabi1. Rectifying Ourselves When We Make Mistakes
2. Should You Have A Madzhab? (new!)
Friday, November 5, 2010
Kamal El Makki's Lectures (MP3)
Kamal El Makki
1. Chain Reaction
2. The End Of Music pt. I
3. The End Of Music pt. II
4. Forgiveness - The Mark Of The Believer
5. Importance Of Akhlaq
6. The Battle Of Badr pt. I
7. The Battle Of Badr pt. II
8. Why We Do Not Apply What We Learn (New!)
9. The Fitna part 1 (Story Of Uthman, Ali, 'Aishah, Muawiyah r.a)
10. The Fitna part 2 (Story Of Uthman, Ali, 'Aishah, Muawiyah r.a)
11. The Fitna part 3 (Story Of Uthman, Ali, 'Aishah, Muawiyah r.a)
12. The Fitna part 4 (Story Of Uthman, Ali, 'Aishah, Muawiyah r.a)
13. The Fitna part 5 (Story Of Uthman, Ali, 'Aishah, Muawiyah r.a)
14. The Fitna part 6 (Story Of Uthman, Ali, 'Aishah, Muawiyah r.a)
15. The Fitna Part 7 (Story Of Uthman, Ali, 'Aishah, Muawiyah r.a)
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