Yaser Birjas' Lectures (MP3)

Yaser Birjas

1. Khushoo' - Strengthening The Divine Connection

2. Arriving At The Right Airport

3. The Beautiful Character Of Rasulullaah

4. The Importance Of Unity

5. Crying From The Fear Of Allaah

6. The Sunnah Of Being Of Born

Speaking About Allah Without Knowledge

By Jamal ud Deen al Zarabozo

Al-Qurtubee in his tafseer, he talks about such people who say when they read the Qur'an in my mind this comes to my mind, or my heart tells me this, and he concludes who reads the Qur'an and says, "ask your heart" or "my heart tells me," and so forth, they are speaking about Allah without knowledge ('ilm), which, as we will talk about, one of the greatest sins that we could commit, and that they are actually from zanaadiqa, those who have nothing to do with Islaam, and he said they should be killed as apostates (murtadeen).

When you go to the Qur'an and you read a verse from the Qur'an and you explain that verse without having the proper knowledge, without following the proper methodology, you might be and only Allah knows, actually following your own hawaa, following your own desires, you might be following an inspiration from the Shaytaan, you might be following dhann (conjecture), which Allah speaks about in many places in the Qur'an, or it might actually be some kind of inspiration from Allah , but most likely it is not the last case. And why is it not the last case? Because as we will talk about it later, you did not follow the proper methodology of talking about the Qur'an and if you did not follow a proper methodology of talking about the Qur'an, then you have committed a sin already. Just by talking about the Qur'an, without proper knowledge, by giving interpretation of the Qur'an, without proper knowledge, without proper background, without being qualified to do so, then you've already committed a sin. And since you are committing a sin, it is very unlikely in most cases that Allah will bless you through that sin to give you the right interpretation of the Qur'an.

When you say that Allah means this or Allah means that in a specific verse, you are actually speaking or saying something on behalf of Allah , you are actually speaking about Allah , and if you are speaking without knowledge, without 'ilm, this is one of the greatest sins that you could commit.

In fact, Ibn ul Qayyim said that it is the greatest sin. Ibn ul Qayyim said that speaking about Allah without `ilm is the greatest sin that you could commit. He bases it on this verse:

قُلْ إِنَّمَا حَرَّمَ رَبِّيَ الْفَوَاحِشَ مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَمَا بَطَنَ وَالإِثْمَ وَالْبَغْيَ بِغَيْرِ الْحَقِّ وَأَن تُشْرِكُواْ بِاللّهِ مَا لَمْ يُنَزِّلْ بِهِ سُلْطَانًا وَأَن تَقُولُواْ عَلَى اللّهِ مَا لاَ تَعْلَمُونَ

"Say: The things that my Lord has indeed forbidden are al-Fawaahishah (great evil sins, every kind of unlawful sexual intercourse, etc.), whether committed openly or secretly, sins (of all kinds), unrighteous oppression, joining partners (in worship) with Allah for which He has given no authority and saying things about Allah of which you have no knowledge."
[The Noble Qur'an, 7:33]

In discussing this verse, he says, first of all there are some sins which are haraam li-dhaatihi, forbidden due to their own evil nature, and (others which are) haraam li ghairihi, which are forbidden because they lead to some evil or have some evil in them.

And he said with respect to this verse, all of these four, they are haraam in dhaatihi, they are haraam in their own essence, because of the evil in them. Continuing his discussion, he said that Allah first mentions al-fawaahishah, and he says this is the least of the sins that He mentions, after that He mentions the sins of trespasses against the truth; this is a greater sin that the first one that Allah mentioned.

And then He mentioned making shirk, and finally He mentioned saying things about Allah of which you have no knowledge. He is saying that Allah is going from from the lesser to the greater. And the reason he says is that this last sin of saying about Allah without 'ilm, which is actually what you do when you make tafseer without the proper background, without the proper methodology, he says it involves and it includes many things even more than what committing shirk involves. He says it involves and it includes:

1. Ascribing something falsely to Allah
2. Changing or altering the religion of Allah
3. Denying what He has confirmed or
4. Confirming what He has denied,
5. Affirming something declaring false or
6. Declaring something false as true, and it also includes
7. Supporting something that Allah dislikes or opposes,
8. Supporting something that Allah dislikes or opposes, and
9. Liking something that Allah dislikes.

In other words, when you are speaking without 'ilm, in the religion, in things which are related to the religion, then in fact you are changing the religion of Allah. And in fact, if you continue what he wrote - this is right from "Madaarij us Saalikeen", 1:372-3 - you find that in fact speaking without `ilm is actually the real source of all kufr and shirk.

He said, for example, the polytheists claim what they are worshiping instead of Allah was something to take them closer to Allah , so the cause of their shirk was saying something about Allah without `ilm, something they did not know about Allah.

Similarly today, the greatest kufr that we have nowadays, among Muslims, but especially among non-Muslims, is secularism and the basis for that is saying that Allah doesn't really care about what we do in worldly affairs, or hasn't really given us guidance for worldly affairs, or the Deen that He sent is not meant for daily affairs; all of this is speaking about Allah without knowledge.

So in fact, it is one of the greatest sins, and Ibn ul Qayyim even included that it is in fact the greatest sin. And he also mentioned that every bid'ah, every innovation, also is based on some statement that has no support from the Qur'an and Sunnah, in other words every bid`ah also is based on some statement which is actually made without `ilm.

To think about this point even further, about just going to the Qur'an, and saying, I am a believer I am pious, I can go to the Qur'an, and read the Qur'an, and get its own meaning, if there was any people in the history of mankind who could have said that - maybe we could accept this from them - would be the Companions of the Prophet (saw), for many reasons:

• They witnessed the revelation of the Qur'an itself,
• They witnessed the events it was referring to, they were living the events that it was referring to,
• The Qur'an was revealed in their language, the language of their time,
• Allah chose them to be the Companions of the Prophet (saw),
• and he described them as the best generation.

So if anyone could actually make that claim that he has such a pure heart and such a close relationship to Allah or such a good understanding of Islaam, that he can go to the Qur'an and interpret the Qur'an simply by what his heart tells him or what they used to call ra'ee (personal opinion) - after the Sufis it became "What the heart tells you," but originally it was called ra'ee or personal opinion, it would be the Sahaaba, but if we go to the Sahaaba we see that what they understood and what they learned from the Prophet (saw) in fact is the complete opposite. What they learned is that it is absolutely forbidden to speak about the Qur'an without proper knowledge.

And they made such statements. For example, Abu Bakr one time said,

"What earth would give me place to live and what sky would shade me if I should speak about the Qur'an with my opinion or by something I do not know."

And `Umar ibn al Khattaab, he also said,

"Beware of using your opinion in religious matters."

And Ibn `Abbaas, the one who the Prophet (saw) made du`aa for him to understand the Qur'an, to get the understanding of the Deen, and to be given by Allah the ta`weel or the understanding of the Qur'an, he also said,

"All that there is to follow and obey is the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger. Whoever makes any statement after these two according to his opinion, then I do not know if you'll find among his good deeds or among his sins."

This is the style of Ibn `Abbaas, that he made in many statements. Meaning that even if what you did was something good, looks like something good, you will find it among your sins. And at- Tirmidhee, in his Sunan, he said it has been related from some of the people of `ilm, people of knowledge, the Sahaaba of the Prophet (saw) and others, that they that they were very strict when it came to speaking about the Qur'an without `ilm.

Muhammad El-Shinawy's Lectures (MP3)

Muhammad El-Shinawy

1. Where Is This Woman? (new!)

2. The Test Called Life (new!)

3. Abandoning The Qur'an (new!)

Obeying the Prophet is Obeying Allaah

by Shariffa Carlo

I received an email the other day that was responding to another email wherein the writer had made reference to the large number of hadiths available to prove his point and how we could possibly ignore this body of evidence. The response in the second email was essentially that the problem was not the number of hadiths, but rather how we could possibly disobey a command from our beloved Prophet in even one sahih hadith.

I was struck by this. We spend so much time arguing with each other over the issues of Islam that I sometimes wonder if the purpose is just to argue. We have forgotten that being Muslim means SUBMITTING. We are supposed to submit to Allah. We are supposed to also submit to the commands of our beloved Prophet, because Allah ordered us to do so. We can not take one without the other. For instance, Allah orders us to pray. We do not know what is involved in the prayer except by the commands and actions of our beloved Prophet. So, if we obey the command in the Quraan, but ignore the sunnah, our prayer is invalid. We will pray as we feel like praying, omitting the obligatory actions and words in salat.

We have many examples of things which have been made obligatory or haram by hadith only, like 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ood quoted this saying of the Prophet (hadith) while he was delivering a sermon: "May Allah curse the women who tattoo their bodies and those who pluck their eyebrows; those who separate their teeth to make them look more pretty and those who try to change the creation of Allah." A woman named Umm Yaqub from the tribe of Banu Asad came to know of these words. She approached Ibn Mas'ood and said: "O Abu 'Abd ar-Rahman! It was reported to me that you have cursed such and such women." He said: "Why should I not curse those whom the Prophet, peace be upon him, cursed and who are cursed in the Book of Allah as well." She said: "I have read whatever is contained between the two covers (i.e. the whole Qur'an)." Had you been a good reader, you would have discovered it. Did you not read the following verse? "So take whatever the Messenger gives you and keep away from what he forbids you." [Surah Al-Hashr :7]

Here the principle is firmly established by the companion of Rasul Allah. He shows us what the Prophet said and explains to us that the commandment of the Prophet is equal to a commandment from Allah. This is not the only place this is written, Allah has commanded us in many places in the Quraan to obey the Messenger. A few of these are:

"O you who believe! Obey Allah and obey the Messenger and those charged with authority among you; and if you differ in anything among yourselves, then refer it to Allah and the Messenger if you do believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is best and most suitable for final determination."
[Surah An Nisaa': 59]

Obey Allah and the Messenger; but if they turn back, then surely Allah does not love the unbelievers.
[Surah Ali Imran: 32 ]

And obey Allah and the Messenger; that you may obtain mercy.
[Surah Ali Imran: :132]

Those are limits set by Allah: those who obey Allah and His Messenger will be admitted to Gardens with rivers flowing beneath, to abide therein (for ever) and that will be the supreme achievement. But those who disobey Allah and His Messenger and transgress His limits will be admitted to a Fire, to abide therein: And they shall have a humiliating punishment.
[Surah An Nisaa': 13-14]

How serious is this command? It is the most serious. Think about the one act that we can not stop doing -- whether the phone rings, your mom calls or anything short of a threat occurs. It is salat. When we begin salat, we should not stop unless there is a dire emergency. Yet, we have an example which shows that the call of the Prophet is and was more important than completing the salat.

Narrated Abu Said Al-Mualla: While I was praying, the Prophet passed by and called me, but I did not go to him till I had finished my prayer. When I went to him, he said, "What prevented you from coming?" I said, "I was praying." He said, "Didn't Allah say"O you who believes Give your response to Allah (by obeying Him) and to His Messenger" (8.24)...
[Sahih Bukhari: Volume 6, Book 60, Number 226.]

Here we can clearly see the importance of obeying the Prophet. Knowing this, how do we apply it?
* First, we need to clear our minds of the misconception that we must fully understand everything in Islam.
** Second, we acknowledge that we are supposed to blindly follow ONLY Allah and His Prophet. Blindly follow?

This does not sound like Islam, does it? It is Islam. We can try to understand Islam, and one of the beauties of this religion is that we can understand so much, but we have to come to the realization that in all matters, after all the rationalizations are done, after all the angles have been explored, after all the rhetoric has been spun, we MUST obey Allah and His messenger, whether we understand it or not. There is no other way.

An example of this is the saying of Ali (raa). He stated (what means) that if Islam were by logic, we would not wipe over the feet in wudhu', we would wipe under them.

Not everything is clear for us. At some point, we have to just say, Labaik! and submit. At some point we have to recognize that if we are truly believers in Allah, that He is the Most Wise, the All knowing, that Allah is the Truth then we have to concede our own inadequacies and submit to Him completely, even when it defies our limited logic to do so.

The best generation was the generation of the companions of our beloved Prophet because when they heard a command, the acted immediately. Two examples of this are

Narrated Abu Sa'id al-Khudri: I heard Allah's Messenger (peace_be_upon_him) addressing in Medina. He said: O people, Allah is giving an indication (of the prohibition) of wine, and He is probably soon going to give an order about it. So he who has anything of it with him should sell that, and derive benefit out of it. He (the narrator) said: We waited for some time that Allah's Messenger_be_upon_him) said: Verily Allah, the Exalted, has forbidden wine. So who hears this verse and he has anything of it with him, he should neither drink it nor sell it. He (the narrator) said: The people then brought whatever they had of it with them on the streets of Medina and spilt that. Sahih Muslim: Book 9, Number 3835:

and

Narrated Safiya bint Shaiba: 'Aisha used to say: "When (the Verse): "They should draw their veils over their necks and bosoms," was revealed, (the ladies) cut their waist sheets at the edges and covered themselves with the cut pieces." Sahih Bukhari: Volume 6, Book 60, Number 282

They spilt the wine. They covered themselves. No excuses. No questioning. No disobedience.

In short, we have to stop taking excuses when we hear the book of Allah or the statements of the Prophet Even, when we follow our madhabs, we need to recognize that only Allah is perfect, and we can only take the Quraan and the statements of His beloved Prophet without questioning them. Anyone else can make mistakes. Our Prophet was protected by Allah from making mistakes in this deen. Allah says,

"(The Prophet) does not speak of his own desire. It is no less than Inspiration sent down to him."
[Surah An Najm: 3-4]

Everyone else can make mistakes, and when we find that they have made a mistake, we must go back to the most authentic evidences from the Quraan and the Sunnah without hesitation. Our great scholars have confirmed this:

Imam Abu Hanifah was asked: "What do we do if we find a saying of yours opposing the Book of Allah?" He replied: "Leave my saying and stick to the Book of Allah (Qur'an)." The questioner asked: "What if it contradicts a saying of the Prophet?" Abu Hanifah said: "Leave my saying in the face of the Prophet's saying." Again he was asked: "What if it goes against the saying of a Companion?" Again he said: "Leave my saying in the face of the Companion's saying." (Reported in Al-Qawl al-Mufeed by Shawkani.)

Imam Abu Hanifah also declared:"My way (Arabic: madh-hab) is whatever hadith (saying of the Prophet) that is proved to be authentic." (Shami 1:50, Al-Fulani in Iqaz, p. 62.)

Imam Malik ibn Anas said: "The saying of any person can be accepted or rejected, except for the Prophet of Allah, peace be upon him." (Reported by Ibn 'Abd al-Barr and Ibn Hazm. Also in Al-Yawaqeet wa Al-Jawahir 2:96.)

He (Reported by Al-Fulani in Iqaz, p. 72.) also said: "I am just a mortal; sometimes I am wrong, sometimes I am right - so check my opinions. Whatever agrees with the Book (i.e. the Qu'ran) and the Sunnah, accept it; whatever disagrees with them, reject it."

Once Imam Shafi'i narrated a saying of the Prophet (hadith). Someone from the audience said: "Do you say so as well?" On hearing this, the Imam was enraged. His face turned pale and he said: "Woe to you! Which earth would carry me, which sky would shelter me if I narrate a saying of the Prophet, peace be upon him, and do not hold the same view! Do you see a zunnar (belt worn by non-Muslims) on me? Or have you noticed me coming out of a church? How can I report something from the Prophet, peace be upon him, and not agree with ?!!"

Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal said: "Do not follow me or Malik or Shafi'i or Auza'i or Thawri, but take from where they took (i.e. from the Qu'ran and authentic Sunnah)." (Reported by Al-Fulani and Ibn al-Qayyim.) He also said: "He who is on the verge of destruction rejects a saying of the Messenger of Allah, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him." (Reported by Ibn al-Jauzi.)

Sunnah does not simply mean that which is not obligatory. That is one of the meanings, but the sunnah is in essence the sayings, approvals, disapprovals, commands, and characteristics of the Prophet. So, within the sunnah we have the "sunnah" (those we have a choice about) acts and the "fard" (those we have no choice about) acts. We can not be like the Christians and the Jews and take our religion like a buffet, "I'll take a little of this and a little of that -- but I don't want any of that..." We have to accept the words of Allah and the Commands of our Prophet as they come, no picking and choosing. Islam is not for us to design, it is complete.

Anas reported that the Messenger of Allah said:

"I have left among you two things; you will never go astray as long as you hold fast to them: the Book of Allah and my Sunnah."
(Reported by Haakim.)

Brothers and sisters, I adjure you and I adjure myself, do not allow the shaytan to keep you from a commanded act. Fear Allah, Love Allah and Obey Allah. Do not be caught up with this scholar or that scholar or " we have been informed that the scholars disagree...".

Please, if you know that the scholars disagree, but you have Quraan or sahih hadiths in front of you, obey the sahih hadiths and forget the disputes. In the end, if you obeyed the Prophet, and it turned out the act was only sunnah, not fard, you will find with Allah two rewards, one for the act and another for simply obeying. Is that not infinitely better than to find two sins, one for not performing the act, and the other for disobeying? Think about it. Allah has made His signs clear. The religion is easy. We do not have to obey but Allah and His Messenger, and since the Messenger never speaks from himself, it is essentially only obeying Allah. Since Allah is the Most Wise, most Merciful, can we go wrong when we obey Him? Impossible.

Brothers and sisters. There are some acts which are not in dispute, except by those who would have us disputing among ourselves in this century. Salat is fard, zakat is fard, hajj is fard, hijab is fard, riba is haram, alcohol and all intoxicants are haram, gambling is haram, there are more, but the point is clear.

Please, if you ask a question of a "scholar" and be careful in choosing your scholars, make him or her work. Don't accept, "It is disputed or disagreed upon." as an answer. Demand evidences from your teachers! Ask, "Who disagrees", "What is their evidence?", " Is there a verse or a hadith to back him/her up?"

Anyone can say that halal is haram or haram is halal based on their logic, but this is not Islam. Islam is submission to Allah and His messenger, whether we can understand it or not. Don't let anyone fool you, we humans do not know everything. There are some things which Allah has not revealed to us. There are some things we do as Muslims that we can not explain, we do them because we obey Allah, that's it! End of story. If you think have to explain everything or you do not have to do it, then you do not believe Allah's Wisdom is greater than yours. In English, Islam can be summarized with one word, submission. Allah commands, the Muslim submits. The prophet commands, the Muslim submits.

Ya Allah! make us Muslims.

Ya Allah! Make us submit to your authority and keep us from worshiping our own selves over You!

Ya Allah, guide us, teach us and protect us from ourselves and from Your Wrath.

Ya Allah! Give us wisdom and knowledge and make us always of those who turn to You. Ameen.

I leave you with some more verses about obeying the Prophet:

"And whoever obeys Allah and the Messenger, these are with those upon whom Allah has bestowed favors from among the prophets and the truthful and the martyrs and the good, and a goodly company are they! "
[Surah An Nisaa' :69]

"The answer of the believers, when summoned to Allah and His Messenger in order that he may judge between them, is no other than this: they say, 'We hear and we obey'. It is such as these who will attain success."
[Surah An Nur :51]

"But no, by your Lord! (O Muhammad) They cannot be believers until they make you judge in all disputes between them, and find in their souls no resistance against your decisions, but accept them with the fullest submission."
[Surah An Nisaa' :65]

"Obey Allah, and obey the Messenger, and beware (of evil): if you turn back, know that it is Our Messenger's duty to proclaim (the message) in the clearest manner. "
[Surah Al Maidah :92]

"They ask thee concerning (things taken as) spoils of war. Say: "(such) spoils are at the disposal of Allah and the Messenger: So fear Allah, and keep straight the relations between yourselves: Obey Allah and His Messenger, if you believe."
[Surah Al Anfal: 1]

"O ye who believe! Obey Allah and His Messenger, and turn not away from him when ye hear (him speak). "
[Surah Al Anfal: 20]

"O you who believe! answer (the call of) Allah and His Messenger when he calls you to that which gives you life; and know that Allah intervenes between man and his heart, and that to Him you shall be gathered. "
[Surah Al Anfal: 24]

"So take whatever the Messenger gives you and keep away from what he forbids you."
[Surah Al-Hashr :7]

"You have indeed in the Messenger of Allah a beautiful pattern (of conduct) for anyone whose hope is in Allah."
[Surah Al Ahzab: 21]

"He who obeys the Messenger, obeys Allah."
[Surah An Nisaa': 80]

Why Are We So Divided?

Because of Shirk, Bid'ah (innovations) and leaving the Sunnah

All Praise is for Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) Lord of all the creation and May His peace and Blessings be upon is last Prophet Muhammad (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) and upon the Prophet's (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) family and upon the companions and on all those who follow the path of guidance until the last day.

The Muslim Ummah is in a divided and fragmented state and that this division is prohibited in Islam. Rather Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) has enjoined upon us to hold onto the rope of Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala), which we established is the Qur'an and the Sunnah as understood by the Companions. But how did we reach this state in the first place, what causes disunity?

Shirk - Associating partners in worship with Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala)

Without doubt one of the major causes for people splitting up the religion and leaving holding on to the rope of Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) is shirk. This is the grave sin of ascribing partners with Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) in worship. Today throughout the world there are numerous examples of shirk amongst the Ummah, such as those who call upon the dead in the grave. Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) says:

"And invoke not besides Allah anything that will neither profit you nor hurt you, but if (in case) you did so, you shall certainly be one of the Dhal (polytheists and wrong-doers)."
[Surah Yoonus 10:106]

Verily Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) has created us to worship Him alone, as He (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) says:

"And I (Allah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)."
[Surah adh-Dhaariyaat 51:56]

So the one who gives worship to other than Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) has he not committed the most severe sin. Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) says:

"Verily! Allah forgives not (the sin of) setting up partners (in worship) with Him, but He forgives whom He wills sins other than that."
[Surah an-Nisaa 4:116]

It is reported that Ibn Masood (radhi-Allaahu 'anhu) asked the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam):

"Which is the Greatest sin?" The Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "That you set up a rival for Allah, While He is the one who created you."
[Bukhaaree]

O noble reader it will not be hidden from you that throughout the world Muslims are stooped in such practices of calling upon the dead saint in the grave, asking him to remove their difficulty whether it be Abdul Qaadir al Jeelanee or al Badawee or other people who's graves have been made places of worship. How can unity be achieved amongst the Muslims when some Muslims cannot unify their worship for Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) alone? O noble reader consider the following, how many Muslims:

Wear Amulets and charms, despite the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) saying:

"Whoever wears an amulet has committed shirk."
[Ahmad]

Read astrology in magazines or go to fortune tellers, despite the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) saying:

"Whoever goes to a fortune-teller and asks him something and believes in his words, will have his prayers rejected for forty days."
[Muslim]

So while all these non-Islaamic beliefs and practices are present amongst the Muslims how can unity take place? Is not our first obligation to give da'wah to those Muslims who are stooped in these practices? Thereby calling to tawheed as all 124,000 Prophets from Aadam (alayhi-salam) to the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) did. They all began their call to the people with Tawheed - worshipping Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) alone.

Having incorrect beliefs

Another major reason for disunity is the wide range of beliefs prevalent amongst the Muslims. Despite us having the same Qur'an and the same Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam), Muslims still have different beliefs. Why is this? If we all are referring back to the Qur'an and the Sunnah in every matter then why the differences. Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) says:

"(And) if you differ in anything amongst yourselves, refer it to Allah and His Messenger (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam), if you believe in Allah and in the Last Day. That is better and more suitable for final determination."
[Surah an-Nisaa 4:59]

So verily O noble reader, imagine if every Muslim acted upon this ayah - would there be any differences then? NO, except maybe in the issues of fiqh, such as the prayer. But our beliefs and methodology would be one, so why is this not the case? It is because many Muslims today do not refer every issue back to Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) and His Messenger (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam), rather they ask their local Imaam or their parents or refer it back to their madhab.

Know O noble reader that the first thing that all the Prophets called to was the rectification of the beliefs, before calling to the Islaamic state or to Jihad, the first thing was purifying the beliefs of the Muslim. So how can we have unity while there are Muslims who believe:

That Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) is everywhere, despite Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) saying:

"They fear their Lord Who is above them, and they do what they are commanded."
[Surah an-Nahl 16:50]

That the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) was not human and was made from light, despite Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) saying:

"Say (O Muhammad sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam): 'I am only a human being like you. It is revealed to me that your Ilaah (God worthy of being worshipped) is One Ilaah (God)."
[Surah Fussilat 41:6]

That the saying of an Imaam should be acted upon over the hadeeth, despite Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) saying:

"And let those who oppose the Messenger's (Muhammad sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) commandment (i.e. his Sunnah) beware, lest some Fitnah (trials i.e. shirk) should befall them or a painful torment be inflicted on them."
[Surah an-Noor 24:63]

That Imaan does not increase or decrease, despite the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) saying:

"Imaan has seventy odd or sixty odd branches. The most virtuous of them is the statement, 'There is none worthy of worship except Allah, and the slightest of them is to remove something harmful from the road. And hayaa is a branch of Imaan."
[Bukhaaree and Muslim]

Bid'ah - Innovations in the religion

Another cause for disunity and not holding fast to the rope of Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) is the occurrence of innovations in this Ummah.

Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) has informed us in the Qur'an that He has completed this religion of Islam for us as He (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) says:

"This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion."
[Surah al-Maa'idah, 5:3]

Since the religion is complete how can it be that we need to add new things and ways of worship to Islam? Whatever was not part of the religion at the time of the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) cannot be accepted as a part of the religion now. The Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) has warned us against adding new things to the religion when he (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said:

"Whoever Innovates in this affair of ours that which is not from it will have it rejected."
[Muslim]

The people who propose unity at all costs have a saying that 'An innovation (bid'ah) that unites us is better than a Sunnah which divides'.

SubhanAllaah look at such a statement O noble reader, innovations are grave and serious and a cause for entering the fire as he (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said:

"... and every bid'ah (innovation) is misguidance and all misguidance is in the Hellfire."
[Reported by an-Nasaa'ee (1/224)]

So if someone said to you look there is a fire over there, lets all hold hands and unify and then go in to it, you would think they were crazy! So how can we come together upon something as dangerous as innovations, such as the innovations of mystics, who practice all kinds of weird and innovated invocations, which at times involve switching off the lights or chanting one of Allah's name so that after some time what they are chanting is unrecognisable as a name of Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala). Or the innovations of those who take their scholars as 'spiritual leaders' giving their allegiance to them and 'selling' themselves to these 'scholars' obeying everything they say. How O noble reader can unity occur amongst all the Muslims as long as these practices, which have nothing to do with Islam, keep occurring?

Blind following and Partisanship

This is one of the most evil of occurrences today and a major cause for disunity. Muslims are following their madhahab or their scholars over and above the Sunnah of the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) despite Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) saying:

"And whosoever opposes the Messenger (Muhammad sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) after the right path has been shown clearly to him, and follows other than the believers' way, We shall keep him in the path he has chosen, and burn him in Hell - what an evil destination!"
[Surah an-Nisaa 4:115]

When you tell Muslims that 'you should do this because it says so in the Qur'an and the Sunnah', they reply 'well that's not what it says in my madhab' or 'that's not what my Shaykh says'. SubhanAllaah, O noble reader why did Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) send us His final Messenger (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) if it was not to teach us the religion of Islam.

Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) says:

"But no, by your Lord, they can have no Imaan (Faith), until they make you (O Muhammad sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) judge in all disputes between them, and find in themselves no resistance against your decisions, and accept (them) with full submission."
[Surah an-Nisaa 4:65]

No Muslim will openly say I am disobeying the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam), but how many of us ask for the proof on issues of beliefs and practices and look to see what is the truth.

Another problem is the setting up of groups and parties with members, then being loyal only to that party, believing in the beliefs and aims of that party - not questioning it. Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) has warned against this:

"And be not of Al-Mushrikoon (polytheists). Of those who split their religion, and became sects, each group rejoicing in that which is with it."
[Surah ar-Room 30:31-32]

Setting up groups is a cause for disunity and spreads hatred amongst the Muslims so that a Muslim from one group will not give salaam to a Muslim from another group just because they belong to different groups. Or a group from one masjid will not like Muslims from another masjid to come and pray in their mosque. All this stems from partisanship and it divides the Ummah. Unity will not occur whilst Muslims are in this state rather unity will occur when an end is put to partisanship (hizbiyyah) and Muslims love each other because they are all have the same aims, beliefs and practices.

The Means for Revival

Having looked at the reason why we are so divided, the question now arises as to what the means for reviving this Ummah are. Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) has given us the means for the revival of this Ummah, when He (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) says:

"Verily! Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves."
[Surah ar-Ra'd 13:11]

The Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) also said:

"When you involve yourselves in interest bearing business transactions, and you hold on to the tails of cows, and you are pleased with agriculture (i.e. the land) and you abandon making Jihad in the Cause of Allah, Allah will send humiliation down upon you. He will not remove it from you until you return back to your Religion."
[Abu Dawood and al-Bayhaqee]

So this humiliation that Muslims are under will not be removed from us until we return back to the religion of Islam. So what is the religion of Islam if not Tawheed, having the correct Aqeedah, worshipping Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) correctly? So should we not start our revival with these issues.

So just as the condition of the Arabs during the Days of Ignorance (Jaahiliyyah) was not rectified except by the coming of their Prophet Muhammad (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) with revelation from the heavens, which aided them in this world and which will save them in the next, then know O noble reader the foundation that the Islamic revival must be built upon in this time, is nothing else but the return to the Qur'an and the Sunnah, as implemented by the noble companions.

We know from the Book of Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) and the Sunnah of His Messenger (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) that the way towards realising this revival is only one way, and it is the way which Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) has mentioned in His (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) saying:

"And verily, this is My Straight Path, so follow it, and follow not (other) paths, for they will separate you away from His Path."
[Surah al-An'aam 6:153]

The Messenger of Allah (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) explained this to his Companions. Thus, one day he (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) drew a straight line for them on the ground and then drew short lines on the sides of it. Then, while his (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) noble finger moved up and down the straight line, he (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) recited the aforementioned verse. Then he (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) pointed to the lines that were drawn on the sides of the straight line and said:

"This is the Path of Allah and these are the (other) paths. At the top of each of these (other) ways, there is a devil calling towards it."
[Authentic hadeeth, graded in Dhilaal-ul-Jannah fee Takhreej-is Sunnah(16-17)]

Furthermore, Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) says:

"And whosoever opposes the Messenger (Muhammad sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) after the right path has been shown clearly to him, and follows other than the believers' way, We shall keep him in the path he has chosen, and burn him in Hell - what an evil destination!"
[Surah an-Nisaa 4:115]

In this ayah there is profound and extensive wisdom, for Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala), has connected the "the believers' way" to what the Messenger (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) came with. The Messenger (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) has (also) indicated this point in the hadeeth about the splitting up of the Ummah into sects. When he (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) was asked concerning the saved sect, he (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) responded: "That which (adheres to what) I and my companions are upon today."

What then is the wisdom behind Allah's mentioning of "the believers' way" in this ayah? And what is the significance in the Messenger of Allah's (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) linking of his companions to himself in the previous hadeeth?

The answer is: These noble Companions (radhi-Allaahu 'anhum) were the ones who received the two revelations (i.e. the Qur'an and Sunnah) from the Messenger of Allah (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam), having that explained to them by him (sal-Allaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) directly, without there being any intermediary. They best knew how to implement the Sunnah, so after knowing this O noble reader can any Islaamic revival take place when the way of the Companions (radhi-Allaahu 'anhum) is abandoned and not adhered to, rather No it can not. For us to revive Islam and bring unity to the Muslims we must adopt the way and example of the Noble Companions (radhi-Allaahu 'anhum).

Imaam Maalik (rahima-hullaah) said:

"The latter part of this Ummah will not be rectified except by that which rectified its former part."
[ash-Shifaa of Qaadee 'Iyyaadh, (2/676)]

So it will be clear to the reader that the only way to revive the Ummah is to return every affair of the Muslim back to the Qur'an and the Sunnah as understood and implemented by the best generation, the Companions (radhi-Allaahu 'anhum). To believe as they believed, to worship as they worshipped, to look like them, to give da'wah in the way they gave it. Then only will we be united and have a true Islaamic revival.

So dear noble brothers and sisters your Lord (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) says....

"Has not the time come for the hearts of those who believe to be affected by Allah's Reminder (this Qur'an), and that which has been revealed of the truth."
[Surah al-Hadeed 57:16]

Etiquette Of A Righteous Husband

Khutbah from Shaykh ‘Abdul Muhsin Al-Qasim, Imaam of Masjid An-Nabawi

Whoever comes from a kind and compassionate background will have a tender heart and so such men must bear in mind that their wife is the one who gave birth to his children, takes care of his wealth and maintains his secrets. So be kind to your wives and openly express your joy for smiling livens the heart and wipes away hatred and praising the wife for her appearance, cooking and adornment wins her heart. Moreover, Islaam has allowed husbands to lie to their wives in order to increase the love between them.

• Exchanging gifts is the key to winning a heart and is a reflection of ones love.
• Being easy upon ones wife, abandoning ambiguity and bad communication and arrogance are ways to achieve a lasting happy marital life. ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “A man should be like a child with his wife, happy and easy going, but when he sits with men, he should act as they do.”
• Be an upright and straightforward man and your wife will thereby also improve and become more righteous, by the will of Allaah;
• do not look at that which is unlawful for you to do so, because the evil consequences of this sin will impact upon your house; Watching women on satellite television causes ones wife to appear ugly and unpleasant, and lowers ones rank in her sight, which is a reason why hearts become distant and love diminishes, which in turn causes conflicts to emerge.
• Deal with your wife as you would like her to deal with you in all areas, because it is natural that she would like you to be with her as you would like her to be with you, Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “I like to take care of my appearance for my wife just as I would like her to beautify herself for me.”
• Listen to your wife’s criticism with an open mind and heart because the wives of the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, would to discuss his opinions without him becoming angry.
• Also a husband should not take from his wife’s wealth without her permission, because it belongs to her;
• treat her kindly and be generous with her and do not be stingy; remember that your wife likes to talk to you regarding all her affairs, so be attentive and listen to her, indeed this is a reflection of perfect manners;
• never go home with a gloomy face because your children need to clearly see your love and sympathy; be kind to your children and make them enjoy your presence, guidance and instructions and always listen to them. Whenever the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallamwould see Faatimah, may Allaah be pleased with her, he would say “Welcome, O my daughter!” then he would seat her to his right or left. (Muslim).

Being kind to the members of ones household reflects real manhood, as Al-Baraa’, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “I entered upon Abu Bakr, may Allaah be pleased with him, in his house; he saw his daughter ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, lying down with a fever, so Abu Bakr, may Allaah be pleased with him, kissed her on the cheek and asked: ‘How are you feeling my daughter?’ (Bukhaari).

Helping at home is a sign of ones faithfulness; ‘Aa’ishah may Allaah be pleased with her, was asked what the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam would do while at home, she replied, ‘He was just like any other human being, he would sew his garment, milk the sheep and serve himself.’ (Ahmad).

Being generous with ones family is the best charity that one can give and time spent with ones friends should not be at the expense of that with ones family, for they are worthier to spend ones time with.

• Never remind your wife with mistakes that she may have made, nor hint about her shortcomings;
• conceal your problems from the children because it has a negative affect on them and reduces the respect they have towards their parents.
• Anger is the cause of all disputes, and the relation between a man and his wife is far too valuable to ruin in a moment of anger; remain silent whenever you become upset and remember that forgiveness is closer to piety and wisdom, ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “Women should be kept at home and their anger dealt with by remaining quiet.”

The rights of the wife are great and only a noble man will fully honour his wife and respect her. ‘Aa’ishah may Allaah be pleased with her, said: “The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam would always mention Khadeejah, and he would always slaughter sheep, divide them, and then distribute it among her friends, He did this so much that I once said to him: ‘You act as though there are no other women apart from Khadeejah’” (al-Bukhaari).

Guidance For Your Sexual Health

One of the rights of human beings is to satisfy their sexual needs. This may be aural, by listening to amorous words; visual, by looking at that which arouses sexual desire; or physical, by engaging in sexual acts of different types.

However, the only legal way to satisfy sexual urges is that which occurs between married couples.

It is not permissible for a Muslim to engage in sex before marriage. Youths of both sexes must avoid all forms of sexual arousal; they should get married early and not delay it; because this is the safer route for them. Whoever cannot get married should depend on fasting to help curb their desires.

The Purpose of Sex

Islam strives to suppress illicit sexual urges so as to bring good back to human sexual intercourse, and to make its aim the establishment of a family and to have children. Allah said,

"And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy."
(Surah Ar-Ruum:21)

In fact, the Prophet (Peace be upon him) made the relationship between a married couple a source of reward for Muslims in the following wonderful hadeeth. He (PBUH) said

"… and in man's sexual intercourse (with his wife) there is Sadaqah (act of charity)." They (the Companions) said, "O Messenger of Allah! Is there reward for him who satisfies his sexual passion among us?" He said, "Tell me, if he were to devote it to something forbidden, would it not be a sin on his part? Similarly, if he were to devote it to something lawful, he should have a reward."
(Muslim)

Islam acknowledges the existence of sexual desire, and considers it to be one of the pleasures of this worldly life. Allah said,

"Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire - of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return (i.e., Paradise)."
(Surah 'Ali Imran:14.)

Sexual desire is instinctive, and life without pleasure, enjoyment, and happiness becomes miserable, dreary and uninteresting. Is there anything better than the romantic hours spent by a loving married couple in the marital home?

Protection from Sexual Arousal

Islam's philosophy in life is clear and unchanging. It is founded on firm principles, including the great principle that 'prevention is better than cure' and among the applications of this great concept is Islam's recognition of the danger of sexual arousal between the two sexes.

For this reason, laws and systems were introduced that prohibit sexual arousal, stirring of desires, and inflammation of passions, other than those between a married couple.

If you think about modern day life, you will realize that men flirt in the street, at work, at school, and in the shops. It is a game of cat and mouse. You will find that it is expected of a woman to make herself up and beautify herself with the most splendid finery when she goes out.

For this reason, Islam ordered women not to beautify and adorn themselves when they go outside, but to limit their beautification for when they are with their husbands or when they are with other women.

In relation to this, two verses of the Quran were revealed, which later came to be known as the two verses of the hijab. They are the following words of Allah,

"O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves (part) of their outer garments."
(Surah Al Ahzaab:59).

The second verse is,

"… and not to display their adornment except that which (ordinarily) appears thereof."
(Surah An Nur,:31)

Islam also warned both sexes about listening to music that arouses passions, because arousing romantic music, which has an immeasurable effect on youths, is unchanging with the passing of the centuries. This prohibition came before the invention of television and its stark portrayals of sexual acts.

The Call for Marriage

When Islam forbade sexual arousal, and prohibited sexual relationships before marriage, it did not just leave youths without an outlet for their natural instincts. Islam invited them in a clear and open way to get married early. The Prophet (PBUH) said,

"O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e., his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast; as fasting diminishes sexual power."
(Al Bukhari)

If a youth does not have the way or means to get married, then what is the solution? The following verse of the Quran has the answer,

"But let them who find not (the means for) marriage abstain (from sexual relations) until Allah enriches them from His bounty."
(Surah An Nur:33)

Repulsion towards Adultery and Homosexuality

It is unfortunate that modern civilization is so eager to turn a blind eye to prohibited sexual behavior, that it gives it different euphemisms so that people are not revolted by it. These euphemisms do not directly signify the word 'adultery' or the term 'illegal sexual relationship', but rather say that someone is 'sexually active' or 'has multiple partners'.

Muslims, on the other hand - even those who are religiously weak -consider extramarital relationships to be adulterous and greatly sinful; sins that would never befit a Muslim. This repulsion, which people feel towards adultery, arises from the many legal texts that condemn adultery and make it unattractive in the eyes of a Muslim. These include:

"And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is a Fahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits), and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allah forgives him)."
(Surah Al Israa':32)

Abu Hurairah said that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) was asked what most commonly causes people to enter the Hellfire, he said, "The two hollow things, the mouth and the private parts." He was (then) asked about what most commonly causes people to enter Paradise, he said, "Fear of Allah and good character." (Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah)

Ubadah ibn-us-Samit said, "I was one of the Naqibs (a person heading a group of six persons), who gave the (Aqaba) Pledge of Allegiance to Allah's Messenger (PBUH). We gave the pledge of allegiance to him that we would not worship anything other than Allah, that we would not steal, would not commit illegal sexual intercourse, would not kill a person whose killing Allah has made illegal except rightfully, and would not rob each other. We would not be promised Paradise if we did the above sins, and if we commit one of the above sins, Allah will give His Judgment concerning it."
(Al Bukhari & Muslim)

Conclusion

Islam is an amazing religion that has changed the lives of the Companions and of believers around the world. Once there was a time when adultery was deemed a normal part and acceptable happening in society and Islam rectified that notion by placing clear guidelines on sexual behaviors within a society, thus ridding the complications of liberal sexual behavior - both the physical and mental - of its believers.

We can learn much by becoming observers of the heartaches and hardships non-Muslims encounter because of the lack of sexual abstinence amongst non-married couples and how that impacts their lives as individuals and that of their communities. We can take pride and respect ourselves as Muslims by living our lives following the examples of the pious predecessors of the past, who followed the righteous teachings of our Prophet (PBUH).

Islam has generously and thoughtfully provided its believers with the prevention to the societal ills of pre-martial sexual relations, where others can spend millions of dollars and many hours seeking in desperation just waiting on the cure.

Let us each take a proactive stance in our lives to ensure that our families and ourselves are utilizing the preventive measures our religion has given us so that we may be able to thwart the day when it is too late, and we too, are left in desperation, seeking the cure.
[Al Jumuah Magazine Vol. 14 - Issue: 8]

Yahya Adel Ibrahim's Lectures (MP3)

Yahya Adel Ibrahim

1. Leadership Lessons From The Seerah (new!)

Abu Mussab Wajdi Akkari's Lectures (MP3)

Abu Mussab Wajdi Akkari

1. Exposing Wahhabism

2. Sufism

3. The Character Of Rasulullaah

4. The Saved And Aided Group (new!)

5. The Clear Enemy (new!)

Ibrahim Zidan's Lectures (MP3)

Ibrahim Zidan

1. The Difference Between The Methodology Of The Early Generations And People Of Innovation (new!)

Riad Ourzazi's Lectures (MP3)

Riad Ouarzazi

1. The World Of Jinn part 1 (new!)

2. The World Of Jinn part 2 (new!)

Alaa El Sayed's Lectures (MP3)

Alaa El Sayed

1. Journey Of The Soul

Marital Intimacy: What is Allowed And What Is Not

Islam cares for every aspect of a Muslim’s life and gives him clear guidance regarding all things that will affect this life and the next. Imam Muslim reported that some Jews came to Salman Al-Farisi and said to him: “Your Prophet taught you everything even the etiquette of answering the call of nature.” And he said: “Yes, he did.” In the field of sexual relations, Islam provides complete guidelines prohibiting some practices and allowing others. The purpose of this is to secure the greatest level of happiness and purity in this very important part of life.

The prominent Muslim scholar Sheikh Muhammad Saleh Al-Munajjid, a prominent Saudi Muslim scholar and lecturer, gives a clear account of Islam’s guidance in this field:

“Sexual relations are among the important matters of life which Islam came to explain and to prescribe proper conduct and rulings which elevate it from the level of mere bestial pleasure and physical desire. Islam correlates it with a righteous intention, supplications and proper conduct which elevate it to the level of worship for which the Muslim will be rewarded. The Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explains this. Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) wrote in his book, At-Tibb An-Nabawi (Medicine of the Prophet):

“Concerning sexual relations, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) brought the most perfect guidance, whereby health may be preserved and people may find pleasure and fulfillment , and it may fulfill the purpose for which it was created, because sex was created for three basic purposes:

1. The preservation and propagation of the human race, until they reach the number of souls that Allah has decreed should be created in this world.

2. Expulsion of semen which may cause harm to the body if it is retained.

3. Fulfilling physical desires and enjoying sexual pleasure. This alone is the feature that will be present in Paradise, because there will be no bearing of offspring there, and no retention of that which needs to be relieved by ejaculation. The best doctors suggest that sex is one of the means of maintaining good health.

Among its benefits is that it helps to lower the gaze, enables self-control, enables one to keep away from prohibited things, and all this is also achieved for the woman. It brings benefit to a man with regard to this world and the Hereafter, and also benefits the woman likewise. Hence, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to enjoy regular intimate relations with his wives, and he said, “In your world, women and perfume have been made dear to me.” (Narrated by Ahmad and An-Nasa’i).”

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it helps him to lower his gaze and protect his chastity. And whoever cannot do that, let him fast, for it will be a protection for him.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim).

Important Things to Be Considered When Having Intimate Relations:

1. Having the sincere intention of doing this only for the sake of Allah. One should intend to do this to protect oneself and one’s wife from doing forbidden things, and to increase the number of the Muslim ummah so as to raise its status, for there is honor and pride in large numbers. It should be known that one will be rewarded for this action, even when the people involved obtain immediate pleasure and enjoyment. It was reported from Abu Dharr that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “When any of you engages in sexual intercourse there is a reward” (meaning, when he has intercourse with his wife). They said, “O Messenger of Allah, when any of us fulfils his desire, will he have a reward for that? He (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Do you not see that if he were to do it in a unlawful manner, he would be punished for that? So if he does it in a lawful manner, he will be rewarded.” (Muslim).

2. Intercourse should be preceded by kind words, playfulness and kisses. Almighty Allah says: “Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how you will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah.” (Al-Baqarah: 223) Most of the interpreters of the Qu’ran say that the phrase ‘but do some good act for your souls beforehand’ refers to the importance of foreplay in increasing interest and making the matter easier.

3. When a man has intercourse with his wife, he should say: “Bismillah, Allahumma janniba ash-shaytan wa jannib ash-shaytan ma razqtana (In the name of Allah. O Allah! Keep us away from Satan and keep Satan away from what You bestow on us (our children)).” The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “If Allah decrees that they should have a child, Satan will never harm him.” (Al-Bukhari)

4. It is permissible for the husband to have intercourse with his wife in her vagina in whatever manner he wishes, i.e. from behind or from the front, but it is to be noted that it must be in her vagina, which is the place from which the child is born. Allah says: “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will.” (Al-Baqarah:223)

Jabir ibn `Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “The Jews used to say that if a man had intercourse with his wife in her vagina from behind, the child would have a squint.” Then this verse was revealed: “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will” (Al-Baqarah: 223). The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “From the front or from the back, as long as it is in the vagina.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).

5. It is not permissible for the husband, under any circumstances whatsoever, to have intercourse with his wife in her back passage. It is known that the place of ‘tilth’ is the vagina, which is the place from which one hopes a child will be born. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “He is cursed who has intercourse with women in their back passages.” Anal intercourse goes against the fitrah (natural inclinations of man) and is an action which is revolting to those having a sound human nature; it also causes the woman to miss out on her share of pleasure. The back passage is a place of filth and there are other reasons, which confirm the fact that this deed is forbidden.

6. If a man has intercourse with his wife and wants to repeat the act with her a second time, he should perform ablution, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “If any one of you has intercourse with his wife then wants to repeat it, let him perform ablution between the two (actions), for it is more energizing for the second time.” (Muslim).

This is recommended, but not obligatory. If he is able to have ghusl (complete purifactory bath) between the two acts, this would be better, because of the hadith of Abu Rafi` who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) went around his wives one day and did ghusl in this one’s house and in that one’s house. He (Abu Rafi`) said: I said to him: “O Messenger of Allah, why do you not do one ghusl?” He said, “This is cleaner and better and purer.” (Abu Dawud and An-Nasa’i)

7. It is permissible for a person who has to make ghusl to sleep and delay the ghusl until before the time of prayer, but it is definitely recommended for him to perform ablution before sleeping, because of the hadith of `Umar, who said that he asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), Can any of us sleep when he is junub (in a state of sexual impurity)? The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Yes, but let him perform ablution if he wishes.” (Ibn Hibban).

8. It is forbidden to have intercourse with a woman when she is menstruating (having her period), because Allah says: “They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is a harm, therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they have purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto them as Allah has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in the vagina). Truly, Allah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves (by taking a bath and cleaning and washing thoroughly their private parts, bodies, for their prayers, etc.).” (Al-Baqarah: 222).

However, it is permissible for the husband to enjoy his menstruating wife without having intercourse, because of the hadeeth of `A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) who said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) would tell one of us, when she was menstruating, to wear a waist-wrapper, then her husband would lie with her.” (Muttafaqun Alaih - Agreed upon)

9. It is permissible for the husband to practice `azl (withdrawing the penis to ejaculate outside the vagina) if he does not want to have a child. By the same token it is permissible for him to use condoms, if his wife gives her permission, because she has the right to pleasure and to have children. The evidence for this is the hadith of Jabir ibn `Abd-Allah (may Allah be pleased with him) who said, “We used to do `azl at the time of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) heard about that, and he did not forbid us.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

It is better not to do that for several reasons, including the fact that it deprives the woman of pleasure or reduces the amount of pleasure for her, and it cancels out one of the purposes of marriage, which is to increase the number of offspring, as mentioned above.

10. It is forbidden for both spouses to spread the secrets of what happens between them in their private marital life. Indeed, this is one of the most evil things. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Among the most evil of people before Allah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who comes to his wife and has intercourse with her, then he spreads her secrets.” (Muslim)

It was reported from Asma’ bint Yazid that she was with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and men and women were sitting with him, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Would any man say what he did with his wife? Would any woman tell others what she did with her husband?” The people remained silent and did not answer. I [Asma'] said: “Yes, by Allah, O Messenger of Allah! They (women) do that, and they (men) do that.” He said “Do not do that. It is like a male devil meeting a female devil in the road and having intercourse with her whilst the people are watching.” (Abu Dawud).

Marital Happiness

Let’s start this lecture by asking a question; does marital happiness have an expiration date? Do you have to love each other passionately before marriage in order to attain true happiness once you are married? Is marital happiness something that cannot be achieved, or is it something fictitious that we read about in books? Marital happiness does exist and it is something that can be achieved. A couple can live happily until they die. Love is like a plant, if you water it, it will grow and if you leave it, it will die. There is actually a simple recipe that can be used to achieve marital happiness. This recipe is composed of five steps or recommendations; one is for the man, the second for the woman and the rest are for both to follow:

1. Provide a Great Deal of Forgiveness, Mercy and Pardon (for the husbands):

Being forgiving and merciful also means rarely losing your temper and it also means that you let a lot of things pass. No matter what happens, a woman will be grateful that her husband did everything he could to not upset her and that he always treats her as though she was the apple of his eye. The Prophet (P.B.U.H.) said that the best people are not those who pray a lot, cry in their prayers or have memorised the Qur’an, but the best of men are those who treat their wives well. The Prophet (P.B.U.H.) then said that in this regard, his is the best. The Prophet (P.B.U.H.) never said that he was better in doing anything than anyone, except when it came to treating his wives. The Prophet (P.B.U.H.) also said referred to women as glass, because glass is delicate. No matter how many mistakes she makes, you must be ready to forgive and pardon her.

The Prophet’s wife (P.B.U.H.) ‘A’isha once made food for him and told him that it was for him and the companions. She saved up money and then spent it on a meal for the Prophet (P.B.U.H.) and his companions. The Prophet (P.B.U.H.) was very happy and he put the food in a clay bowl and he started calling the companions to come and eat with him. ‘A’isha looked out from her room and saw the happiness and she got jealous. She then came out of her room and kicked the bowl which shattered to pieces. What would you do if your wife did this to you? The Prophet (P.B.U.H.) kneeled on the floor and started picking up the food off of the floor and tried putting it back into the bowl. He then looked at the companions and said, “Your mother got jealous,” in other words he was telling them to just let it go. He then went to speak calmly with ‘A’isha and told her that since she broke a dish she should replace it by making another one. The Prophet (P.B.U.H.) said all of this without getting angry or raising his voice. Aisha apologised to him and asked him to forgive her. Some homes actually break up because of scenarios similar to this one. In another incident, the Prophet (P.B.U.H.) and ‘A’isha got into an argument and he asked her whom she chose to be a judge between them. Eventually, she settled on her father, Abu Bakr. When Abu Bakr came, ‘A’isha told the Prophet (P.B.U.H.) to tell her father only the truth. Abu Bakr got angry; how could the Prophet (P.B.U.H.) say anything but the truth? The Prophet (P.B.U.H.) told Abu Bakr that they did not come here for him to be angry. After the situation ended and Abu Bakr left, he could hear the Prophet (P.B.U.H.) and ‘A’isha laugh. Abu Bakr then asked them to share their laughter as they have shared their fight.

A man from the companions had a wife who used to always yell and so he went to talk ‘Omar Ibn Al Khattab for some advice. When he arrived to ‘Omar’s house and was about to knock, he heard ‘Omar’s wife yell at him. When the man heard this he decided to turn around and leave. As he was turning around, ‘Omar opened the door and asked the man why he came. The man told him he was coming to complain about his wife but then he heard ‘Omar’s wife yell as well. ‘Omar then replied and said that his wife tolerated him, washed his clothes, cleaned his home, made him comfortable, and took care of his children. If she did all of this for him, how could he not tolerate her when she raised her voice?

You want the love in your home to increase? Then be ready to be extremely forgiving. The man who doesn’t allow his wife to visit her family will have to answer to Allah (S.W.T.). How can she love him if he won’t let her see her family? Where is the mercy when a man intentionally makes his wife jealous by telling her he will marry another? To a woman this is not a joking matter. Some men keep threatening their wives with divorce. How is then there supposed to be marital happiness? Men who do this are weak. If they were strong they would be able to do what the Prophet (P.B.U.H.) and ‘Omar did, they would be able to take control of their homes without using divorce as a threat. All of these things reduce marital happiness of the potential of it. The home is lost when a man and woman treat each other with disrespect. Some men say that they did not insult their wives because they do not consider the word stupid an insult. How can two people who have made a solemn promise to Allah (S.W.T.) swear at each other and push one another around? How can a man beat his wife? The Prophet (P.B.U.H.) never hit a woman. Being merciful does not mean that the man will have a weak personality. The Prophet (P.B.U.H.) was forgiving and he had a strong personality. A woman cherishes and values a man who is forgiving and she knows who has the weak personality and who has the strong personality. Men who don’t spend time with their wives because they are too busy at work, or who keep to themselves and don’t tell their wives what they are thinking or feeling are not showing mercy. When the Prophet (P.B.U.H.) wanted to go and open Makkah, the only person he told was ‘A’isha because he knew she could be trusted. Men need to be forgiving with their wives when they are pregnant or menstruating; these are times when women most need the support of their husbands.

When ‘A’isha was menstruating, the Prophet (P.B.U.H.) would take the cup and drink from the same spot ‘A’isha drank from. He wanted to drink from the spot that touched her lips to show her that he understands the sensitivity of her situation. Men should also not ask their wives for too many things. Don’t ask her to get up at 2:00 A.M. and cut you some watermelon. Or if both of you are sitting down, go make yourself a cup of tea instead of making her do it. Keep in mind that according to Islam, both the husband and wife are supposed to share the responsibilities in the home since you are partners.

The Prophet (P.B.U.H.) was the one who use to milk the goat, fix his shoes, used to go the market and he used to help with the house chores. Allah (S.W.T.) says: “Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.” [Qur'an: 4:19]

There was once a man who complained about his wife to a sheikh in my presence. The man told the sheikh that he could not stand his wife, he could stand looking at her and that he hated her. He didn’t want her but he also didn’t want to treat her with injustice and so he wanted to know if he should divorce her or not. The sheikh replied with one verse from the Qur’an: “Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full without reckoning (or measure).” [Qur'an 39:10]. If you are patient with her, you will not be judged on Judgment Day. A month later, I met the man again and asked him how things were going. The man and his wife were still together and he said that he loved her so much. Earlier, the man thought to himself and decided that he would rather be patient and not be reckoned than divorce his wife. Within a month of his decision he felt as though he loved her in a way he never knew before. He couldn’t believe that he actually thought of leaving her.

2. Listen to Your Husband and Raise His Spirits (for the wives):

Some wives have a habit of constantly nagging their husbands and picking fights. In turn, the husband gets tired and starts neglecting his wife which only fuels more nagging and whining. A man needs someone to talk to about his problems. But he cannot do this if his wife won’t listen because she is too busy nagging and complaining, and this is when he will start looking for someone else to talk to.

When there is a problem, a woman should try to raise her husband’s spirits by telling him not to worry, that Allah (S.W.T.) will be by their side and that she will stand by him. No matter how strong or macho a man is, he will always need a woman’s care and support. It is the wife’s words of support that keep the husband strong and solid.

One of the best ways of keeping a man is to always be there to listen, someone with open arms who can encourage him and raise his spirits. If you do this, your man will not be able to leave you. Try to keep your temper under control and try not to yell often as well, in order to increase your marital happiness. Once a couple swears at each other, or pushes one another, the relationship will forever be scarred. Do whatever you can to not say something that you don’t mean, not to swear and no matter what, do not push one another or hit one another, otherwise you will both start losing everything you had.

Women should look at Khadeejah as an example. What did Khadeejah do that made her one of the few people who was given the good tiding of heaven? Simply, she stood by the Prophet (P.B.U.H.). The Prophet (P.B.U.H.) used to leave Khadeejah and go to the cave for long periods of time. What did she do when he first came running to her after seeing the angel Gabriel for the first time? Any woman who was bitter because her husband would leave her for long periods at a time would have said that he deserved it for spending too much time in some cave. When the Prophet (P.B.U.H.) told Khadeejah that he was afraid for himself, she firmly said that no way would Allah (S.W.T.) leave him or let him down.

If you listen to your husband and try to make this easier for him, he will love you always; who else would he find who would treat him this way? He will also never look at another woman no matter what she looked like or what she did.

3. Develop a Common Goal in the Home (for the husband and the wife):

When a couple live separate lives, so that all he does is work and all she does is raise the children, eventually the love will cool off and disappear. Having a common goal is the water that nourishes the love in marriages. The husband and wife should sit down and find a common goal to work towards together. A 60 year old man had an amazing and loving relationship with his wife, simply because they agreed to help the people in their neighbourhood become closer to Allah (S.W.T.). In another home, the husband and wife were cold towards one another until one day they decided to start a charity for orphans together. As the charity started growing, so did their love for one another because they were doing something good together. A set of parents decided that they wanted to raise their child a certain way so they would both drop him off at computer class and swimming practice and they did everything they could together to achieve their goal.

Your relationship will never cool off or get cold as long as you do things together, because you have a common goal. Relationships fall apart when the couple do not have common interests and when they do not do things together. If you come up with a goal that is associated with doing something for Allah (S.W.T.), then know that you will be happy because it is not an ending goal. Goals like getting an apartment can come to an end, but a goal associated with Allah (S.W.T.) will always be ongoing. Create goals that will benefit those around you and your community and country.

4. Close the Door to the Wickedness and Sins of the World

It is important for the couple to do what they can to protect themselves from the sins and wickedness of the world. Men who ignore their wives for weeks in bed are exposing them to the potential of doing something wrong. ‘Omar Ibn Al Khattab changed the army’s timetable because of this matter. He asked his daughter Hafsa what the longest time a woman could withstand without her husband and she said four months. He then changed the army rules so that no man left for Jihad for longer than four months. ‘Omar did all of this because he over heard a woman saying a poem one night about how much she missed her husband who was away. Many men do not realise how critical this issue is. If you are going to travel, try to take your wife with you or try not to be gone for long. And if you are in the same country and are ignoring your wife for weeks or months at a time, then know that you are sinning. Also know that you are giving your wife the chance to do something wrong.

Men who get satellite or cable into their homes, along with explicit channels, need to know that they are sinning and that they are ruining their homes. The Prophet (P.B.U.H.) forbade the husband’s male family members to visit the wife while the husband was away because of all the problems that could occur. For example, the brother in law cannot come and visit the wife on his own and enter her home on his own. The Prophet (P.B.U.H.) did this to keep our homes pure and clean.

The first and most dangerous things that ruin the happiness between married couples are the sins that men and women commit with one another. Some men become close with their female co-workers and the relationship keeps developing until it goes too far. When the wife tells her husband not to talk so much with his female workers, he tells her that she is just jealous, when in reality she is right. The devil plays a very smart game that we need to be aware of. What the devil will do is make what you don’t have seem so much more beautiful in your eyes than what you do have. While the Prophet (P.B.U.H.) was on his trip from al Isra’a and Miraj, he saw people being offered meat that was good and they left it to eat meat that was bad and rotten. The Prophet (P.B.U.H.) asked Gabriel who those people were. Gabriel said they were those who left their wives for what was sinful.

5. Worship Allah (S.W.T.) Together

This is the most important of all. Doing this will guarantee that you and your spouse will be happy together. Allah is the one who created happiness and He is the one who gives it and takes away. Worship Allah (S.W.T.) together and he will fill your hearts with happiness. Once a week, pray two prostrations with your spouse or read the Qur’an together. Allah (S.W.T.) will look and find a husband and wife worshipping Him together. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If a man wakes his wife and prays during the night or they pray two rak`ahs together, they will be recorded among those (men and women) who (constantly) make remembrance of Allah.” This is related by Abu Dawud and others through an authentic chain of narrators.

You can do this anywhere together. While you are in the car on your way somewhere, you can remember Allah together, even if it is just for the first five minutes of your ride. If the last thing you do together before going to bed is worship Allah, do you think you will wake up and fight over a ripped button? If you worship Allah together you will feel as though love is being thrown into your hearts. And it will be a different kind of love, an unusual kind of love.

God willing we want all our homes to be filled with joy and love. We want men who will always call and check on their wives while they are at work. We want women who will be able to sense if something is wrong with their husbands. We want husbands and wives to love each other the way ‘Omar loved Om Kalthoom, so that when ‘Omar died on Monday, Om Kalthoom was so sad that she was dying on Tuesday. She loved him so much that she could not live without him. We want to see married couples that would do everything to please one another and keep the smiles on each other’s faces.