What Does Allah Want From Me?

By: Nawwaf Al Qadimi

The most important question that a Muslim can ask: What Does Allah want from me as a Muslim? What am I supposed to do in this worldly life I have been granted? We can rephrase this same question in more general terms, revealing that it is indeed the Big Question for all human beings: What is the purpose of my life?

As Muslims, we often hasten to answer this question by quoting the verse of the Qur’an where Allah tells us: “I only created human beings and jinn to worship me.”
[Sûrah al-Dhâriyât: 56]

We are certainly right in doing so. It is right for us as Muslims to look for our answer in the words of Allah. Certainly, this verse is one of the most important and relevant verses in the Qur’an addressing the question of what Allah wants from us.

But have we really answered our question yet?

No, we have not. The term “worship” needs to be properly understood. In Islam, worship is defined as everything that we do that Allah loves and is pleased with. It can be in what we do or what we say. It includes both inward and outward actions.

Everyone agrees that prayer, fasting, remembering Allah, purifying the heart, and similar devotional activities are part of worship. It is, therefore obvious that these acts of worship are something that Allah wants from us. However, it is a mistake to forget that our worship – in other words, what we do, say, and think that pleases Allah – is limited to these personal devotions alone. Our worship also includes how we deal with others.

So we must ask our question again: What does Allah want from me as a Muslim in my dealings with others? To answer this question, we must return to the Qur’an and Sunnah. When we do, we find there can be no doubt that the texts point us to at least two types of concerns. First, it is obvious that we are supposed to propagate the faith and convey the message of Islam to others. There are many verses of the Qur’an and Prophetic hadith that call us to this duty. However, that is not all. There are also numerous texts that call upon us to serve humanity. How often are we told to respect, honor, and assist others? These texts help us to complete the picture of how we are expected to worship Allah in our daily lives.

Let us consider some of the main themes:

Helping Others:

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
 “Whoever is engaged in fulfilling his brother’s needs, then Allah will be fulfilling his needs.”
[Sahīh al-Bukhārī]

Likewise, he said: “Allah loves best the one who benefits people the most. The most beloved deed to Allah is to make a Muslim happy, remove his distress, pay off his debt, or placate his hunger. For me to go forth in fulfilling my brother’s need is dearer to me than to observe a retreat in this mosque (in Madinah) for worship for a month... And whoever goes forth to fulfill his brother’s need until it is taken care of, then Allah will make his feet tread steadily on that Day when feet will slip.” [al-Silsilah al-Sahihah]

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is also reported to have said:
“Whoever goes forth to fulfil his brother’s need and makes headway in fulfilling that need, it is better than observing a retreat in the mosque for ten years.”
[al-Tabarānī, al-Bayhaqī and al-Hākim]

Being Kind and Well-Mannered:

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) declared:
“I was sent only to perfect good conduct.”
[al-Silsilah al-Sahīhah]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) stressed just how important it is to show kindness to people and exhibit good manners by describing an ill-mannered person as “bankrupt” even if that person was devoted to prayer and fasting:

Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) asked: “Do you know who is bankrupt?”

His Companions replied: “The bankrupt person is one who has neither money nor property.”

The Prophet (peace be upon him) then said: “The bankrupt person is one who will come on the Day of Judgment having to his credit much prayer, fasting, and charity. But alas, he will have against him that he ridiculed this person, falsely accused that one, stole the property of another, shed the blood of another, and assaulted another. They will each be compensated from his good deeds, and if his good deeds run out, some of their sins will be transferred to him and he will be consigned to Hell.”[Sahīh Muslim]

Upholding and Defending Justice:

Allah says: "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort justice or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do."
[Sûrah al-Nisâ’: 135]

Allah also says: "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for Allah, as witnesses to fair dealing, and let not the hatred of others to you make you swerve to wrong and depart from justice. Be just: that is next to piety: and fear Allah. For Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do.”
[Sûrah al-Mâ’idah: 8]

Indeed, Allah tells us in the Qur’an that establishing justice was part of the mission of all the Prophets: “Indeed, We had sent Our Messengers with clear proofs and sent down the scriptures and the balance with them so that people could establish justice.”
[Sūrah al-Hadīd: 25]

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) described the greatest for of struggle for the faith as follows:
 “The greatest struggle is to speak a true word in front of an unjust ruler.”
[Sunan al-Nasā’ī, Sunan al-Tirmidhī, and Sunan Abī Dāwūd]

By helping others, showing kindness, and being just we engage in the worship of Allah, just like we do when we pray and fast. Therefore, these are also part of what it means to fulfill the purpose for which we were created.

Do Muslim Husbands Make The Grade?

By Abu Ayyoob Abdullah al-Ansari

Take the Test: How many of these characteristics describe you as a husband?

I Wake up my wife for Fajr.

I teach my wife, and I do all it takes for her to learn Islam.

I talk to my family about the example of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam and I strive to emulate his example as a husband.

I know it is my responsibility to help with housework and I give my wife days off and do the work she would normally do.

I assist my wife in the care of our children.

I am patient with my wife and I show her love and affection.

I speak to my wife in a kind, respectful and gentle manner.

I sit with my family and present topics for discussion.

I ask my wife for advice and I accept and appreciate getting constructive criticism from her.

I take my wife out for recreation and exercise.

When we seek out knowledge about marriage we see that the Qur’an and Sunnah have assigned tremendous importance to the marriage contract and have distinguished it above all other contracts. Indeed the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, said,

“When a man marries, he has completed half of his religion and he needs only to fear Allaah to complete the other half.”
(At Tirmidhi 3096, Mishkat)

In the Qur’an, Allaah says,

“And how could you take it (back) while you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a firm and strong covenant?”
[An Nisaa' 4:21]

Purpose of Marriage

Therefore, marriage must be entered into whole-heartedly and taken very seriously by each of the two partners, and both of them must be committed to making their marriage a success. A marriage is truly successful and prosperous only when it is mutually rewarding. Allaah suggests that both partners come together to cover, protect and beautify each other in the same way that a garment covers, protects and beautifies the one who wears it. [Al Baqarah 2:187] Through this metaphor, we understand that when two people get married, they cease to consider themselves individuals but instead as a couple – each person benefiting by the other equally. In order to flourish, there can be no hint of selfishness or refusal to compromise between them. There must be an agreement between the two partners that each of them will work together to solve whatever problems arise. They will assist one another and sacrifice in order to gain mutual happiness, pleasure and peace. This is the purpose and goal of marriage according to the Shari’ah. As the Lord of the Heavens and Earth has said,

“He it is who has created you from a single person and [then] He has created from him his wife, in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her.”
[Al A'raaf 7:189]

Allaah has designated specific roles for both partners. Only when these rights are observed and these obligations fulfilled, can tranquillity descend upon the couple and security surround them in their certain success. If either of the two partners, out of ignorance or intention refuses to fulfill his or her duties and thereby does not honor the rights of the other, the household becomes a living Hell.

Unfortunately, this is a common situation today. Let us focus now on the responsibilities and desirable characteristics of a Muslim husband. Many brothers have never asked themselves:

“What are the rights of a wife upon her husband?”,

“What is my responsibility toward her?”,

“What do I owe her?”

Never asking these questions, or answering them with ignorance, causes many problems in Muslim households. What are the characteristics every man should possess in order to be a good husband to his wife? The example of the Prophet Muhammed, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, is the ideal model. Let us look specifically at these characteristics and how we may achieve them in our lives.

Starting Point

First of all let us understand that Islam is a complete way of life which offers guidance for mankind in all matters. Allaah is the All-Knowing the All-Wise and He has taken account of everything which concerns us. He has included the solution to all of our problems in His Shari’ah. Nothing has been overlooked. The characteristics of a Muslim husband and the way to acquire them have been made clearer and easier to accomplish through the example of Prophet Muhammed, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam. Allaah says,

“Indeed you have in the messenger of Allaah a most excellent example of conduct for him who looks forward to the meeting with Allaah and the Last Day and remembers Allaah much.”
[Al Ahzaab 33:21]

Unfortunately many brothers interpret this in a limited way – they focus on what we know of the dress and physical attributes of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, and his Sahaba. There is no question that the best example of a husband and father is the Prophet Muhammed, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam. Why is it, then, that so many of us are so far from his example in this area? Could it be that other examples around us influence our behavior more? Do we believe that our financial contribution should represent our dedication to our families? Or have we deliberately ignored the model Allaah has provided us. Allaah has taught us that if we want to achieve Allaah’s pleasure in all spheres of life, the best example for us is His Messenger, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam. Indeed, the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, himself has informed us that the excellence of his example encompasses and includes everything, especially his behavior toward his wives. He, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, said,

“The best of you are those who are best toward their wives and I am the best of you toward my wives.”
(At Tirmidhi)

Piety & Fear of Allaah

This subject is not new. When Ata’ and Ubaydullah ibn Umayr once asked Aisha about the nature of Prophet Mohammed’ s behavior with her: “Aisha started to weep and said, ‘One night he stood up [intending to offer the night prayer] and said,

‘O Aisha, let me be alone so that I may worship my Lord.’ He stood up, purified himself and continued to pray and weep until the ground became wet. Bilal came and made the adhan. When he saw the Prophet crying, he said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah [why do] you cry, when Allaah has forgiven your past and future sins?’ Prophet Mohammed replied, ‘[Then, for that] should I not be a thankful slave?’”
(Ibn Hibban)

This is one example that demonstrates the intensity of our Prophet’s devotion to his Lord – his extreme piety and tremendous fear of Allaah. Any man, who wishes to emulate him, should start by emulating his taqwa (piety). For it is taqwa of the heart which serves as a foundation for good deeds, manners and morals and makes the observance of the rights of others easy. If a man really and truly wants to be a good husband to his wife, he must also possess fear of Allaah. If a man has the fear of Allaah, and it is this fear that most influences his relationship and his dealings with his wife, he fears what Allaah may do to him if he harms her or treats her in a way that is unjust and therefore will never mistreat her in any way – physically or verbally. He knows that he has to meet Allaah and answer for all that he has said and done.

Indeed this is why Hasan ibn Ali said when asked, “‘O Hasan I have a daughter. To whom do you think I should marry her?’ Hasan said, ‘Marry her to [a man] who [fears Allaah]; for if he [truly fears Allaah] and if he loves her he will honor her and [even] if he doesn’t love her, he will never oppress or abuse her [because he fears Allaah].’”

Education

Among the most important rights a woman has is her right to be educated about her religion. This responsibility is incumbent upon her husband. Therefore, one of the most desirable characteristics of a Muslim husband is that he himself is knowledgeable about Islam and teaches his wife whatever he knows. Why would any Muslim husband want to deny his wife this right? Is it not his wife who will guide his children as they grow? Isn’t she the one who teaches them about haram and halal? Isn’t she the one to see that they learn to pray and fast? Isn’t she the one who must protect her husband’s place and belongings in his absence according to Islamic guidelines? If her knowledge about the deen is limited, the entire family will suffer. Many men seek to shelter their wives from outside influences by forbidding them to participate in outside activities.

Many men may fear that if their wife’s emaan becomes stronger, she will object to his behavior or certain weaknesses in his character. These are reasons that should compel us to participate in her Islamic education, so as she learns, so will we. Couples can discuss topics that concern them and agree on how they will integrate new information into their family’s routine. With this type of cooperation, there is less room for misunderstandings, and less opportunity for one Muslim to feel superior to another within the household. This practice will draw the family members closer to each other and, more importantly, closer to Allaah.

“O you who believe! Protect yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones, over which are [appointed] angels stern and severe, who do not hesitate to fulfill the commandments of Allaah [to inflict punishment upon the people of Hell] but [rather] they do [precisely] what they have been commanded [to do]!”
[At Tahrim 66:6]

We can see that taking an active role in our family’s Islamic education protects our families from the fire of Hell. We must strive to set the best example possible for our children, wives and brothers in Islam. It is only by taking personal responsibility, that we can improve the current state of the Ummah. We are creating Muslim communities where our children and grandchildren and brothers and sisters in Islam will find themselves flourishing or deteriorating in.

We must ensure that they have the means to flourish by improving our own knowledge of Islam and constantly sharing it with our families. We need not look far to see members of our Ummah who have failed to keep Islam as the central focus in their homes. Let us move forward by each of us looking at ourselves and asking Allaah to help us to achieve this goal.

If we fail to reach this goal, the consequences in the Hereafter are even more grave, especially for the husband. As the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, said,

“Each one of you is a shepherd and every shepherd will be asked about his flock… and the man will be asked about his family.”
(Bukhari and Muslim)

When the Day of Judgment comes, will our reasons for not educating our families be sufficient for Allaah? Will we be able to offer any excuse after Allaah and His Messenger have made it clear that educating our wives is a duty enjoined upon him that he will be asked about?

Brothers, do your wives read the Qur’an, Hadeeth and Seerah of Prophet Mohammed, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam? Do they understand their meanings? Do they practice what they have learned? It is our obligation to make certain that our wives have the opportunity and means to continuously increase their knowledge. To do so will not only please Allaah but will improve the relations of everyone in our homes, our Ummah, and insha Allaah the societies in which we live.

Presentation is key

Another responsibility of the Muslim husband is to assist his wife in obeying the commands of Allaah. If she should transgress the limits of Allaah, then it becomes his duty to advise her, admonish her and actually physically prevent her from doing so. However, it is the right of the wife that this admonishment be coupled with kindness and mercy. As Allaah says,

“And [it was] by the Mercy of Allaah, [that] you dealt gently with them. And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so overlook their faults, ask that [Allaah's] forgiveness be granted to them and consult with them in [the] affairs of the moment.”
[Ali Imran 3:159]

Therefore, if a husband is overbearing and insisting, his wife’s behavior will most likely not be corrected. She may even persist in her disobedience, returning his cruelty. Prophet Muhammed, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, advised us to..

“...treat women kindly. [The] woman has been created from a rib [which is curved]. The most crooked part of the rib is the uppermost part. If you were to try [to force] it straight you will [certainly] break it and if you leave it as it is, it will remain curved. So [admonish] women kindly.”
(Bukhari and Muslim)

So when a husband offers advise, or reminds or admonishes his wife, he must take this hadeeth into consideration and exercise his authority in a gentle manner in order to bring about the desired result.

A wife is an Advisor

The nature of marriage is one of a continuous growing relationships!

Lazy Boy - It's All in Your Mind!

by Muhammad Alshareef

During the time of Prophet Muhammad (salAllaahu alayhi wasallaam), an incident happened in which a man slept the entire night and he missed the Fajr prayer. Despite the fact that this is a very common occurrence in our present day, at that time such things rarely happened. He missed Fajr, and so they came and spoke to the Prophet (salAllaahu alayhi wasallaam) about this.

‘Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood, radi Allaahu anhu narrates: A man came and said to the Prophet (salAllaahu alayhi wasallaam), “Oh Messenger of Allaah, verily a person slept last night until the morning, until the dawn came and he missed Fajr.”

The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam replied,

“This is a person whom the devil has urinated in his ears.”

Dear brothers and sisters, try going to any books of hadith and in each and every one you will find a chapter entitled Baab al-Isti’aadhah Minal Kasl. Translated, this chapter is called: ‘Chapter of Seeking Allaah’s Protection from Laziness.’

Kasl, or laziness, also known as procrastination, is a disease. University students know what procrastination can do to their studies. It is a disease that afflicts the minds, after the mind, it then afflicts the heart, and finally, through the heart, the body is afflicted.

Today, you will learn that laziness is a technique used by syaitan, and today you will learn the techniques you can use to combat it.

The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam frequently made the following supplication:

“Oh Allaah, I seek your protection from, alajz”

Alajz – which means the inability to do something. And when someone said, “I can’t do that,” The Prophet salAllaahu alayhi wa sallam would seek protection from such negative speech by adding:

“and I seek your protection (Oh Allaah) from alkasl”

Alkasl - which is translated as laziness.

At its core this society is built on laziness. Consider that it is a society based on the idea that we have to rest on Sundays. “Why do you have to rest on Sundays?” some may ask, and society (may Allaah protect us from this) would answer that even Allaah got lazy on Sunday. He did His work all week long; He built the heavens and the earth, and then on Sunday He got tired and rested. So, may Allaah protect us. Contemporary culture has us resting and watching football games on Sundays.

Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala testifies to the lunacy of such an idea, implicitly stating that

…there is no drowsiness and no sleep that comes to Him
(Al-Baqarah 2:255).

In addition, we live in a society that lives for ‘fast and easy’. You have the fast food joints, even the microwave meals that take 5 minutes are considered tedious because you have to take it out after a couple of minutes and stir it before it is finished cooking. Ever hear the promises to have the perfect body in ten minutes for only three days a week? Examples abound. And in its quest for ‘fast and easy’, society does not realize that the root of its problems, indeed, the root of all major sins, lies in laziness.

Why would a person take alcohol and drugs? They are too lazy to change their situation. Instead of actively striving for change, they take a drug to immediately change it. Why do people practice black magic, a phenomenon that is, unfortunately, prevalent in many of our parent’s societies? They do it because they are too lazy to go out and get married, or they’re too lazy to influence people in ways that will accomplish their various goals. Why do people partake in ribaa’ (mortgages as an example) and deal with financial interest? They are too lazy to get a proper job and work to pay for something honestly. Why do people gamble? They addictively buy lottery tickets at ridiculous odds of winning in the hopes that their one dollar will instantly earn millions. Laziness is again the culprit. Why do people backbite? People backbite because they are too lazy to go and tell the person the truth. And these, dear brothers and sisters, are all major sins.

Thus, like a poison, laziness corrupts all good things.

There are beautiful and amazing things that you want to do for yourself, or do for Allaah subhaahanu wa ta’aala. Your intention is good, but if you don’t have the energy, or you suffer from the laziness plight, your desires will go nowhere; they will bear no fruit.

The causes of this disease, called laziness, are rooted in the heart.

Firstly, a lazy person doesn’t know and doesn’t understand his or her need to accumulate good deeds. We understand the need to accumulate money, but we may not understand why or how to accumulate good deeds. Very few people understand that this life is about collecting deeds and preparing for the journey of the hereafter.

Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala advises,

…to prepare your provisions (for the journey to the hereafter) and the best provision is taqwa (fear/piety) of Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala
(Al-Baqarah 2:197).

Secondly, people are discouraged by the thought that others will consider them ‘holier than thou.’ Or perhaps the problem is that some people think too highly of themselves, glorifying themselves to such a high level that when they hear the commandments of Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala they reply by justifying their laziness with excuses like, “My heart is clean,” or “Why do I have to do that,” or “I’m a good person.” Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala states:

Do not claim piety to yourselves
(An-Najm 53"32).

If someone says, “I’m good,” the response should be, “Allaah knows best who is true, who is righteous.”

Indeed, those who suffer from laziness don’t understand the gold mine of opportunity awaiting them. There are thousands of people around you waiting to hear the call of Islam. You are living among sponges ready to listen to you say, “I am a Muslim.” And they are going to ask, “How can I become one too?”

A brother I knew overseas said it perfectly: “The North Americans have such enormous prospects. Imagine teaching a new Muslim Surah al-Fatiha, or how to pray. You will get the reward for this most noble lesson each time the person recites this surah. You can’t do that in Muslim countries, although there are other different opportunities there, most people don’t recognize them and this leads to laziness.”

Know that this concerns you, and if you start demonstrating the energy and zeal it takes to worship Allaah to the best of your ability, then you will be the one to benefit.

This is your life; this is your soul. You are only going to live once on this earth, and you’ll be traveling to the hereafter with a suitcase of good deeds. Hopefully, you won’t be traveling light. The one who understands this early on, the one to get on the bandwagon of the worship of Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala early on, accumulates everything.

Be a pioneer; bring Islam to everyone.

And so they come on the day of resurrection and they see mountains of good deeds that they never imagined they would have had and it will be said to them this is because you weren’t lazy when other people were lazy.

Recognize the opportunity, seize it, and kick start the worship of Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala by others.

But if you choose not to heed these words, to yawn, and to be lazy, you are turning your back on the words of Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala. And the consequences will be grave, for the sunnah of creation, indeed the law of nature, stipulates that that which does not contribute will be destroyed. What do you do with weeds in your garden? You pull them out, you get rid of them. What do you do when your nails get too long, when there is no purpose to their length? You snip them off, discard them in the trash. And so it is, as a community and as individuals in that community, if we are not contributing, and if we are not energetically producing, we will be deemed useless and we will be eliminated.

Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala says:

In this way, He gives forth the parable of the truth and falsehood and the vanity. Vanity is like the foam, the dirt on the ocean (there is no benefit to it). But the things that do bring benefit (those devoid of laziness) will remain steadfast in the land
(Ar-Ra’d 13:17).

Even after you are gone, your good deeds will continue to benefit.

Do not make the mistake of thinking that Allaah pays attention to the lazy one’s worship. Prophet Muhammad sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said:

“Do those deeds that you are able to perform, for verily, Allaah will not tire of your ‘ibadah (worship) until you tire.”

Ponder the phenomenon of those who make du’a absentmindedly, not knowing what it is that they are saying. They may even be yawning, confused, or focused on something else entirely. Allaah is not paying attention to that person just like they are not paying attention to their du’a. That is a du’a that is not answered by Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala. A du’a that is answered is the one where the person’s heart and energy are invested in it. Allaah will listen. If you can consistently take your du’a to that level, you’ll see dramatic changes in your life.

When I was younger, there was an imam from overseas who came to lead the taraweeh prayers in Ramadan. We would have to pick him up at Fajr time and drive him to the masjid. One early morning, I was feeling particularly tired and lazy. My parents had an especially hard time waking me up. Yet, when we arrived at the Imam’s house, I noticed that the neighbors were in the midst of an all-night party. It was 5 am and their lights were blaring, their music was booming, and the party-goers were still drinking their alcohol. They’d spent the entire night awake in qiyaamul layl, but not to Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala. Their worship was for the devil.

I remember thinking to myself that this disbeliever has the stamina and energy to waste the night away, how can the servant of Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala not have the energy and ability to worship Him? After all, they too are humans like us.

‘Umar ibn al-Khattab radi Allaahu anhu is quoted as saying, “I seek Allaah’s protection from the time when the fasiq or disobedient will have much energy and enthusiasm and the righteous will be lazy.”

The fasiq will open up bars everywhere and run his houses of immorality with vigor. And the righteous will do little to nothing in the sake of Allaah. When this happens, there is an imbalance on earth, and corruption will be widespread and prevalent.

Brothers and sisters, let me tell you about the blessedness of having energy and enthusiasm in worshipping Allaah and what it will do for you.

Number 1:

The extra energy will win you the pleasure of Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala.

Musa alayhis salaam was told to come to the mountain for 40 days. And come he did, not walking slowly, not ten minutes late, but running. In explaining his arrival, Musa said,

I came hastily to you, oh Allaah, so that you will be pleased with me
(Taha 20:84).

And indeed, his words were so pleasing to his creator that Allaah recorded them in the Qur’an for all eternity.

When you hear a name of a prophet’s companion, you say, “May Allaah be pleased with him.” Well, this is how you get that same distinction for yourself. Be hasty in your desire and actions that lead to goodness.

Number 2:

Having energy is the characteristic of the believer. Being lazy is the characteristic of the hypocrite.

Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala says the munafiq, or hypocrite is he who has disbelief in his heart, while outwardly claiming belief. Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala describes them in the following verse:

If they get up for the salah (prayer), they get up with laziness
(An-Nisaa’ 4:142).

“Give me ten more minutes…give me ten more minutes… oh! I missed Fajr…oh no. I’ll pray after Fajr. Give me ten more minutes…give me ten more minutes…”

A characteristic of hypocrisy is when they reach for that snooze button and get up lazily for prayer. In this moment they’re experiencing a state of nifaq or hypocrisy. May Allaah protect us.

May He also protect us from using excuses to not follow through with our deeds.

A Canadian may say it’s too cold; an African will say it’s too hot. Both are making excuses for not doing good actions. It was summer in the desert during the time of the Battle of Tabuk, and there was a walking distance of what is today a seven-hour car trip from Madinah to Tabuk. The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam was rallying his troops for an exhaustive trek that, back then, would have taken months.

Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala says,

…they (the hypocrites) encouraged people not to go with the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam by saying, “Do not go out in the heat.” Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala’s response was to tell them, “The fire of hell is much hotter; if only they understood”
(At-Tauba 9:81).

Ibn al-Jawzee, may Allaah have mercy on his soul, said, “I have never seen a flaw sadder to me than a community whose people stop working, despite having the ability to continue.”

PART II

The ramifications of laziness can be very harmful. Some of you may have come across a person who displays a genuine interest in Islam. That person may be about to take the shahada when syaitan gets to him and her. An excuse the devil uses is, “You have to comprehend the Qur’an first.” Hence the would-be Muslim is convinced that they do love Islam, but perhaps further study is required. And so it is that he or she delays coming back to Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala, and as time passes they may no longer possess the same enthusiasm.

Similarly, Muslims seeking to make repentance to Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala might give themselves time by saying, “Let me wait till I pay off my mortgage (or pay off my student loans. Let me wait till I do this, let me wait till I do that) then I will repent to Allaah.” But it doesn’t work like that because as time passes and sins grow, the heart consistently gets weaker and weaker. A time will come when the person knows it’s the last chance, but the heart may have already been sealed shut.

And as Prophet Muhammad sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said:

“Race to good deeds before a time and a fitnah (test) comes that will sweep over you like the darkest of the darkest nights.”

Are not the trials apparent all around us?

Look to the Islamic educational scene. Scholars we may or may not know are being singled out by the dozens. Religious knowledge is being taken from us. If you have the chance to attend a halaqah, or an Islamic class, you have to race to it now! It may be that you won’t have another chance.

Fitnah (trials & tribulations) will come to you, and you must survive it with whatever knowledge you hold. It may be that the knowledge you possess will suffice to protect you, and it may be that it will not be enough to avail you. The consequences thereof would be disastrous, and may eventually lead to hellfire. May Allaah protect us.

Picture this analogy: In Australia they have sharks that prey near the coastline. To warn bathing humans of impending danger, they have a certain whistle that rings when a shark is sighted. Now imagine if you’re feeling sluggish or you’re playing a game trying to see how long you can hold your breath under the water. You don’t hear the warning sound, and then you raise your head out of the water, and notice that nobody is in it except you. Everyone has made it to shore, they are yelling for you to hurry, but you are ten minutes from the beach. How would you make it? Would you make it? Only Allaah knows for sure, but that’s exactly what laziness does to you. It not only renders you unprepared, but also helpless as to the actions you must take in order to survive.

But today is a new day, and by the grace of Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala you and I can learn to let go of that laziness. We will work with renewed energy, striving to return to the worship of Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala.

Here are some techniques to use.

Number 1: Yawning Promotes Laziness

Yawning is from the devil. And when it comes to us, we must fight it. Despite what your medical classes are telling you about needing oxygen through yawning, it was your Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam who advised on covering the mouth and resisting the yawn, by not letting out any noise. No (loud) “Ahhhsss!”

Number 2: Eating One-Third

The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam taught us to eat using the one-third method. You don’t need much to sustain yourself; a few bites will usually do. If you are going to eat a meal, then one-third is the crucial number. One-third of your stomach should be for food, one-third for water, and one-third for breathing.

Realize that one of the most cunning tricks of syaitan is urging people to fill their stomachs beyond capacity. How many times have you eaten a huge meal only to feel like taking a nap afterwards? And how many times has this nap dissuaded you from the worship of Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala?

Number 3: Spend Time with Energetic People

Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala says,

Be patient with those people who call upon their lord in the mornings and the evenings.

When you see a person going for salah (prayer) consistently, always in a state of worship and remembrance of Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala, you say to them, “Hey brother/hey sister, how about we go out for lunch? I’d like to spend time with you.”

Feed from their energy. Alternatively, if lazy people surround you, distance yourself from them, or give them da’wah, encouraging positive action. You want to pick the right people, because we tend to emulate those whom we befriend.

Do as your Prophet did and constantly seek refuge from Allaah from the laziness that syaitan uses to defeat the Muslims. When you find yourself reaching for that snooze button, a.k.a ‘the syaitan button’, remember the ploy against you and seek Allaah’s help to resist. You will have the strength to wake up for Fajr. Ultimately, laziness is a state of mind.

In conclusion, the one concept that ties this all together is honesty. Being honest about your laziness and sincerely striving to change is the first step in seeing results. The fact of the matter is that when Allaah commands us to do something, it is not possible to have excuses, and know that tasks put upon you are doable, for Allaah does not place a burden on a person more than they can bear.

You can do it, others have done it before you, and others continue to do it. Join the ranks of the energetic.

Ka’b ibn Malik radi Allaahu anhu, went to the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam after the Battle of Tabuk, and the hypocrites had been making excuses for their absence from the fighting. Ka’b had not participated in the battle and he thought that he too might come up with some excuse in order to save himself, but he realized that he could not lie to the Prophet of Allaah. He told the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam, “I have never had more energy or ability than this time, but I just didn’t go.”

And the prophet said,

“He is the one who is truthful.”

And by the potency of his honesty and sincerity, the Qur’an mentions that Allaah had forgiven Ka’b.

How do you truthfully word the reasons for your laziness? If the Fajr prayer has passed you by and the devil has urinated in your ears, do not place blame where blame is not due. Don’t make excuses like, “I had a long night.” Instead, say, “The truth is that the accumulation of my sins led me to miss Fajr. But this is not who I am. I am the slave of Allaah. Oh Allaah, tomorrow, with your permission, I will show you what I am going to do for your sake.” And so you make your repentance, you repeat your good intentions, and you continue until you reach those higher levels of energy.

I ask Allaah subhaanahu wa ta’aala to bless you with that energy and I pray and hope that you can make the same du’a for me.

How To Acquire Good Manners

By Shaikh Muhammad Ibn Saalih Al Uthaymeen

Good manners can either be present in someone naturally or they can be instilled into him (i.e. through learning). And we stated that inherent good manners are better than acquired good manners. We mentioned a proof for this which was the Messenger of Allaah’s (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) statement to Al-Ashaj bin ‘Abdil-Qais (radyAllaahu ‘anhu):

“Rather, Allaah has molded (i.e. created) you upon these two (noble characteristics).”
- Abu Dawood (no. 5335), Ahmad in al-Musnad (4/206), Muslim with only the first part of it (no. 25 & 26), and At-Tirmidhee (no. 2011)

It is also because good manners that are innate do not disappear from a human being whereas good manners that are acquired may vanish from a person in many instances since it requires constant practice and effort as well as exercise and hard work. It also requires that one be reminded of it whenever there occurs something that affects a human being. This is why when a man once came to the Messenger of Allaah (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and said to him: “O Messenger of Allaah, advise me”, he (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“Do not get angry.”

The man then repeated his request several times, upon which the Prophet continued to reply:

“Do not get angry.”
- Al-Bukhaari (no. 6116) and At-Tirmidhi (no. 2020)

The Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) also said:

“The strong person is not the one who wrestles and overpowers his opponents. Rather the strong person is the one who controls himself in times of anger.”
- Al-Bukhaaree (no. 6114) and Muslim (no. 107)

So a strong person is not someone who wrestles with people and overpowers them, He is someone “who controls himself in times of anger.” He takes hold of himself and restrains himself during instances when he becomes angry.

A person controlling himself in times of anger is considered a characteristic of good manners. So if you become angry, do not let your anger penetrate, rather seek refuge in Allaah from the accursed Devil. And if you are standing, then sit down. If you are sitting, then lie down. And if your anger increases, then perform ablution (wudoo') until it goes away.

A person may acquire and earn good manners by way of training (himself), working hard at it and through constant practice. So he may obtain good manners through one of the following methods:

FIRST:
By contemplating on the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Messenger. One should look up the texts that show the virtue of the particular noble characteristic that he wishes to characterize himself with. This is since when a believer sees some texts that praise a characteristic or action, he implements them.

Purification (of the soul) cannot be achieved except by way of the messengers as stated by Ibn Al-Qayyim when he said:

“Purifying the souls is harder and more difficult than curing the bodies. So whoever purifies his soul through exercise, hard work and being in isolation – all of which the messengers (rasul) did not come with – he is like a sick person that tries to cure himself based on his own opinion. Where is his opinion with respect to the expertise of a doctor?

The messengers (rasul) are the doctors of the hearts – there is no way to purify and rectify the hearts except through their way (sunnah), at their hands and by totally submitting and complying with them. And we ask Allaah for His assistance!”
- Madaarij As Saalikeen (2/300)

The Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) indicated this when he said:

“The example of a good companion and an evil companion is like that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith. The seller of musk either sells you (perfume), gives you free samples or you get a pleasing smell from him. As for the example of an evil companion – such as a blacksmith – he either burns your clothes or you get a nasty smell from him.”
- Al-Bukhaaree (no. 2101 & 5534) and Muslim (no. 146)

An-Nawawee said:

“This shows the virtue of accompanying righteous and good people – those who possess chivalry, good manners, piety, knowledge, and good behavior. It also shows the prohibition of accompanying evil people, innovators, and those who backbite people or who are very wicked and so on, i.e. other types of condemnable characteristics.”
- Sharh Saheeh Muslim: (16/394)

SECOND:
He should accompany those who are known for having good manners whilst staying far away from those who possess bad manners and poor actions. This is such that he turns this companionship of his into an educational institute that assists him in (his goal of) obtaining good manners. The Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let each of you look into whom he takes as a close friend.”
- Al-Bukhaaree (no. 2101 & 5534) and Muslim (no. 146)

THIRD:
He should reflect on the consequences that come as a result of having bad manners. This is since a person with bad manners is despised. A person with bad manners is forsaken. A person with bad manners is always talked about in a bad way. So when one comes to realize that bad manners will lead him to all of this, he will then keep away from it.

FOURTH:
He should always envision an image of the Prophet’s (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) manners and how he (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) would humble himself before the creation, being kind to them, forgiving to them and patient with their harm. So if a person visualizes the Prophet’s character and the fact that he was the best of mankind and the greatest of those who worshipped Allaah, he will then perceive a low image of himself and at this point the influence that arrogance has over him will be shattered and this will cause him to have good manners.

Allaah Jalla Wa'ala said:

"Verily, in the Messenger of Allaah you have a fine role model."
{Surah Al-Ahzaab 33:21]

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have Mercy on him) summarized the extent of the noble manners of the most honorable Messenger (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) in Madaarij As Saalikeen by saying:

The Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) used to greet the children when he passed by them.

Sometimes, a little girl would take him by the hand and he would allow her to lead him wherever she wanted.

He (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) used to lick his fingers after eating.

He (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) would be in the service of his family when at home.

Never would he become angry because of something personal.

He (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) used to repair his own sandals and mend his own torn clothes.

He would milk his goat himself for his own family. He would feed his own camel.

He used to eat with his servants, sit in the company of the poor people, and personally take care of the needs of widows and orphans.

He would be the one to initiate the greeting when meeting people.

He would respond to the humblest of invitations.

He (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) lived a very modest lifestyle, a man of soft manners, naturally kind, easy to get along with, having a pleasant smile on his face, gracefully humble, extremely generous but not wasteful, soft-hearted and gentle in his dealings with each and every Muslim, lowering the wings of humility to the believers, bearing their companionship in such a gentle way.

May Allaah make us among those who are the true followers of Muhammad Rasulullaah (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) in every aspect especially when it comes to good akhlaq (good manners).

The Virtues Of Gentleness

Allaah says in the Holy Quran:

فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِنَ اللَّهِ لِنْتَ لَهُمْ وَلَوْ كُنْتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لانْفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ

"And by the Mercy of Allaah, you dealt with them gently. And had you been severe and hard-hearted, they would have broken away from about you. "
(Ali-Imran: 159)

So this was the secret of the Prophet’s (saw) success. It was his gentleness and kindness towards people that endeared their hearts to him, so much so that they would sacrifice their lives for him. But had he been severe and harsh with them, then they would have dispersed from around him. And it was the mercy of Allaah that caused His Messenger to be so kind and gentle.

The Prophet (saw) is reported to have said:

“Whenever gentleness is added to something, it adorns it; and whenever it is withdrawn from something, it leaves it defective.”
(Sahih Muslim)

And:
"Indeed Allaah is gentle and loves gentleness, and gives due to gentleness that which He does not give to harshness. "
(Sahih Muslim, Ibn Majah)

He (saw) also said:

“Bashiroo wa laa tunaffiroo, yassiroo wa laa tu’assiroo – Give glad tidings (to the people) and do not repel them; make things easy and do not make them hard.”
(Sahih Muslim)

And ‘Umar (ra), when he became the Khalifah, made dua and said: “O Allaah, I am strict, make me soft.”

May Allaah grant us to have this quality as well.

Some Excellent Reminders - The Mercy Of Allaah & Putting Trust In Allaah

"Never Lose hope in the Mercy of Allaah, verily Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
[Surah Az Zumar 39:53]

- We get very hard on ourselves sometimes. And while there is benefit in taking ourselves to account, the sunshine comes from never losing hope in Allaah's Mercy. Allaah's Mercy and forgiveness is able to encompass whatever you have done.

So knock on that door right now.


"It is part of the Mercy of Allaah that you deal gently with them. Were you severe or harsh-hearted, they would have went away from you: so pass over (their faults), and ask for (Allaah's) Forgiveness for them; and consult them in the affairs (of the moment). Then, when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allaah, certainly, Allaah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
[Surah Ali Imran 3:159]

- It is not the snake bite that kills, it's the venom that flows through the blood. The antidote is forgiving people. Don't let anger rent space in your mind and heart. Forgive and pass over people's faults.


"Say: "Nothing will happen to us except what Allaah has decreed for us: He is our protector": and in Allaah must Believers place their trust."
[Surah At Taubah 9:51]

- Whatever tests you are going through today, Allaah knows it. He is your protector. Turn to Allaah in submission and worship, placing your trust in Him, and watch what happens!


"One day Allaah's Messenger (saw) noticed a Bedouin leaving his camel without tying it. He asked the Bedouin, "Why don't you tie down your camel?" The Bedouin answered, "I placed my trust in Allaah." At that, the Prophet (salallaahu alayhi wasallam) said, "Tie your camel and place your trust in Allaah"
[Tirmidhi]

- Placing trust in Allaah means doing everything that is NECESSARY FOR SUCCESS! <--that's a big one. "Your Lord has not forsaken you; nor does he ever turn away from you. The life to come is far better for you than this present life; you will be delighted at what your Lord will give you. When you were an orphan, did he not enrich you?"
[Surah Adh Dhuha 93:3-6]

- In our daily struggles, focusing on the life to come and what we need to prepare for it today will bring the richness to our lives that we are all seeking.

For the next seven days, ask yourself throughout the day, "In the hereafter, will I regret how I spent my day today?"


"O you who believe! Seek help in patience and As-Salaat (the prayer). Truly! Allaah is with As-Saabirun (the patient)."
[Surah Al Baqarah 2:153]

- Life has both ups and downs. If you are in a down turn, Allaah gives you two tools by which you can stay strong: being patient and focusing on your Salaat. The reward: Allaah will be with you!


"And when My slaves ask you (O Muhammad salallaahu alayhi wasallam) concerning Me, then (answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My Knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor). So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright."
[Surah Al Baqarah 2:186]

- Allaah promises to listen to us when we raise our hands in supplication. Too often when we are down or just can't get things done, we suffer in silence, and forget to turn to Allaah in supplication. Not today!


"Whosoever desires (by his deeds) the reward of the Hereafter, We give him increase in his reward, and whosoever desires the reward of this world (by his deeds), We give him thereof (what is decreed for him), and he has no portion in the Hereafter."
[Surah Ash Shura 42:20]

- When you ask people what their number one goal in life is, rarely do you hear the person immediately respond by saying "Pleasing Allaah, Jannat Al-Firdaus - the highest level of Jannah, and being with Rasulullaah (salallaahu alayhi wasallam), in the hereafter." But ... isn't that the correct answer? Let's make it a reality with how we live our lives!


"And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allaah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allaah has set a measure for all things."
[Surah At Talaq 65:2-3]

- Do the right thing, Do what you know is pleasing to Allaah, and SUCCESS will be yours!

Cry out to Allaah and He will surely hear your call, If not the first time, maybe the second or even maybe at the tenth wallahu a'lam it is solely up to Allaah and His Divine Decree when all that your cry for is given or taken from you whether it is best for you, remember to persevere patiently, as indeed Allaah is with those whom are patient! Have full faith in Allaah and you won't be disappointed, for verily for promise of Allaah is true..

When Parents Don't Approve

By Dr. Aneesah Nadir

Getting Married

Parental disapproval of their adult child’s mate selection is a big problem for the fictional ‘Ali and Khan families.

Mrs. ‘Ali wants her daughter to marry a doctor from their culture. Mr. ‘Ali thinks the person his daughter is interested in is not good enough for her. Their daughter Amina argues:

“He’s a good Muslim, and he cares about me. Just because he isn’t a doctor it does not mean he cannot support our marriage”.

Mrs. Khan thinks the girl her son wants to marry is not good enough for him. Her son Tariq says:

“Mother I love you, and I value your opinion. I realize Mariam is not from our culture but she is a good Muslim, I care for her, I want to marry her and I want your blessing”.

Arguments over differing perspectives regarding who our children should marry impact on healthy family relationships, which often leads to future marriages starting off with a really rough start.

The Prophet (salallaahu 'alayhi wasallam), reminded us that people marry for four reasons-beauty, wealth, status and piety. The qualities of piety or strong faith are considered to be the best reasons to marry. However, even though the person you want to marry is a good Muslim sometimes your parents feel he or she is just not suited for you or they just can not get past some of their personal or cultural preferences and expectations about who you should marry.

So, what should you do when your parents don’t approve of the person you want to marry even though he or she is a good Muslim?

· Of course you could argue with your parents and ruin your relationship with them.

· You could determine that you plan to marry the person you’ve chosen whether they like it or not.

Both of these strategies have challenging consequences. Marriage is difficult enough when you have your parents support. Married people need the support of family and friends. Starting off your marriage without your parents support can cause undue stress in the new relationship.

You risk blaming your spouse for the discord between you and your parents. It inevitably pulls the family apart at a time when the newlyweds need the most support. Yet, what are you to do when you really care for the person you want to marry, and you want to maintain the pleasure of your parents?

CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:

· Try to soften your parents’ hearts by showing patience, kindness and generosity to them. Have someone they respect talk with them to try persuade them to consider the person you have chosen to marry. See if that family friend or ustadz can encourage your parents to see how much you love each other, and want to establish a marriage built on strong faith (imaan) and God consciousness (taqwa).
· Spend time developing your personal relationship with Allaah and the Prophet Muhammad (salallaahu 'alayhi wasallam). Get to know Allaah, and what he wants for you. Spend time in sincere prayer and worship.

Tahajjud and Fajr prayers are among the best times to spend sincerely calling on Allaah for guidance. Get to know Allaah by getting to know his 99 names. Spend time pondering over His signs in creation. Spend time reading, reciting and pondering over the words He left for us in the Qur’an.

· Get to know the family life of the Prophet (salallaahu 'alayhi wasallam), as the best example of family life. Work to implement as many of the Prophet’s behaviors and characteristics in your family even before you meet your future spouse. Practice his example on your parents, your siblings and other relatives. The Prophet’s kind treatment, patience, care and concern for his family are examples we should all work to emulate.

· In addition to developing your relationship with Allaah spend time improving your relationship with your parents. Spend time with your parents. Visit them regularly. Have dinner with them often. Participate in mosque and community activities with them regularly. Join them for their special events and projects.

Demonstrate your concern for them. Talk with them about the kind of person you would like to marry, the characteristics you would like your future spouse to possess so that your choice is not a surprise, and they feel you have involved them by sharing your thoughts with them.

Communication, love and respect between parents and young adults are a secret ingredient for a healthy relationship. Pray to Allaah to guide you to the person who will love you and your parents. Pray that your parents will come to know and love the person Allaah chooses for you.

· Serve your community while you are waiting for Allaah to send you the person He has chosen for you. There are so many needs to address in our communities. Join an organization that addresses poverty, homelessness, hunger environmental problems, youth development, or global warming.

Not only has Allaah placed a trust on each of us as stewards or khalifa, staying active while working on a good cause will hopefully give you time to put your marital choice into perspective. Allaah has a plan for you.

· Remember that your ultimate goal should be to fulfill what Allaah wants for you.

· Exercise patience. Be patient and ask Almighty Allaah to help you recognize the person that is truly right for you, that fears Allaah, and loves you and your parents. Ask Allaah to bless your parents to accept and love the man or woman He sends for you and not put up obstacles to your marriage.

May Allaah make it easy for those who are facing this predicament, and may Allaah grant us Mercy and ease in our hearts.