So often we hear people saying, "He never gives me an expensive gift. That is why I have chosen this cheap gift for him" or someone might say, "I am going to buy an expensive gift for her because she is rich. She will return it with a better one."
Is this what exchanging of gifts is all about? While saying such things we forget the real meaning of a gift.
Giving a gift or present should be done without expecting any compensation.
It is a voluntary act which does not require anything in return. Therefore it is totally different from trade. In Islam, giving of gift is a virtuous deed and an expression of love, friendship and gratitude. It is strongly recommended in the religion because it strengthens the bonds of brotherhood. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,
"Exchange gifts, as that will lead to increasing your love for one another."
(Al-Bukhari)
A'ishah reported, The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allaah be on him, said:
"Give gifts to one another, for gifts take away rancour."
(Mishkat)
A'ishah said, The Messenger of Allaah, peace and blessings of Allaah be on him, used to accept a gift and to give a compensation for it. (Al-Bukhari)
It shows that the Prophet taught the exchanging of gifts is a part of his Sunnah.
Looking down upon one's gift is disliked in Islam as Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,
"O Muslim women! None of you should look down upon the gift sent by her she-neighbor even if it were the trotters of the sheep (fleshless part of legs)."
(Al-Bukhari)
Abu Huraira also narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
"I shall accept the invitation even if I were invited to a meal of a sheep's trotter, and I shall accept the gift even if it were an arm or a trotter of a sheep."
(Al-Bukhari)
If we receive a gift from anyone, we are encouraged to respond by giving him or her something better than what we received. Al-Bukhari narrated that A'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said:
"The Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) used to accept gifts and reward people for giving them."
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
"Whoever does you a favour, respond in kind, and if you cannot find the means of doing so, then keep praying for him until you think that you have responded in kind."
(Abu Dawood)
The Prophet of Allaah disliked taking back gifts that one had already given, and strongly discouraged this habit, as is evident by the narration of Ibn Abbas (may Allaah be pleased with them) who narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
"One who takes back his gift (which he has already given) is like a dog that swallows its vomit."
The consequences of not following the Islamic etiquettes are long-lasting. If a Muslim gives a gift to a rich person expecting a better gift in return, and if this wish is not fulfilled, he might spoil his relations with his fellow Muslim because of his greater expectation.
Similarly, a person who follows Sunnah will always return the giver with something better and this creates love, friendship and brotherhood amongst each other.
Thus when we do deeds for the sake of Allaah and hoping for His reward alone, then we won't have expectations from people, then this leads to peace of mind and success in this world and the hereafter.
The purpose of giving gifts is to bring joy to both the giver and receiver, promote goodwill, and make for a closer relationship. However, if gift-giving goes amiss, there is a risk of making the receiver uncomfortable and creating an unpleasant situation for both sides. To avoid any ill-effects from your gift-giving practices, keep in mind these simple tips:
WHEN YOU GIVE:
Be sure of the true purpose of the gift. Beyond saying the gift is for a particular holiday or occasion, think through how well this gift will express your feelings for this person. To figure this out, ask yourself: How much do I really care about this person? How much time, energy, and money am I willing to spend to select just the right gift for him or her? Let the answers guide you throughout this process.
Do your homework about the receiver. Be observant about his or her favourite items, things he or she might need, or things that would be a meaningful expression of your relationship. Try to remember comments about favourite colors, foods.... As needed, ask someone else who knows the person, explaining that the purpose of your inquiry is to help learn something that will help you select a special gift. I think most people are willing to help with ideas.
Be sensitive to personal and cultural differences. With such a diverse population in our society, it is important to learn something about a person's ethnic, religious, and cultural practices along with their personal likes and dislikes, before you present a gift. Take time to learn what's appropriate and what's not in different communities to gain insights on what a person would or would not appreciate as a gift. Even we are all Muslims, some items may be taken differently by different people.
Present your gift with style. The best way to present a gift is always beautifully wrapped and in person. And when you do, present your gift held with both your hands as though you are holding it on a silver platter.
WHEN YOU RECEIVE:
Show your appreciation when receiving a gift in person. Always put a smile on your face as a gift is being presented. Receive the gift with both hands . Say thank you along with a brief expression of appreciation.
Let the giver know as soon as possible when a gift has arrived. Make every effort to let the sender know you received a gift sent by mail or messenger (email, fax, or telephone call is fine). Then follow it up by sending the proper thank-you note as soon as possible if possible.
Be sensitive to opening a gift in front of others. Some people open gifts as soon as it is received, even in front of an audience and other groups of people. Know that in many countries it is not customary or appropriate to open gifts in front of other people. They are kept to be opened alone.
Know the bottom line. Always, always hand write a thank you note for every gift you receive, no matter what---regardless of whether you like the gift or not, even if you plan to exchange the gift or give it away. Or show your appreciation.
Is this what exchanging of gifts is all about? While saying such things we forget the real meaning of a gift.
Giving a gift or present should be done without expecting any compensation.
It is a voluntary act which does not require anything in return. Therefore it is totally different from trade. In Islam, giving of gift is a virtuous deed and an expression of love, friendship and gratitude. It is strongly recommended in the religion because it strengthens the bonds of brotherhood. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,
"Exchange gifts, as that will lead to increasing your love for one another."
(Al-Bukhari)
A'ishah reported, The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allaah be on him, said:
"Give gifts to one another, for gifts take away rancour."
(Mishkat)
A'ishah said, The Messenger of Allaah, peace and blessings of Allaah be on him, used to accept a gift and to give a compensation for it. (Al-Bukhari)
It shows that the Prophet taught the exchanging of gifts is a part of his Sunnah.
Looking down upon one's gift is disliked in Islam as Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,
"O Muslim women! None of you should look down upon the gift sent by her she-neighbor even if it were the trotters of the sheep (fleshless part of legs)."
(Al-Bukhari)
Abu Huraira also narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
"I shall accept the invitation even if I were invited to a meal of a sheep's trotter, and I shall accept the gift even if it were an arm or a trotter of a sheep."
(Al-Bukhari)
If we receive a gift from anyone, we are encouraged to respond by giving him or her something better than what we received. Al-Bukhari narrated that A'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said:
"The Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) used to accept gifts and reward people for giving them."
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
"Whoever does you a favour, respond in kind, and if you cannot find the means of doing so, then keep praying for him until you think that you have responded in kind."
(Abu Dawood)
The Prophet of Allaah disliked taking back gifts that one had already given, and strongly discouraged this habit, as is evident by the narration of Ibn Abbas (may Allaah be pleased with them) who narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
"One who takes back his gift (which he has already given) is like a dog that swallows its vomit."
The consequences of not following the Islamic etiquettes are long-lasting. If a Muslim gives a gift to a rich person expecting a better gift in return, and if this wish is not fulfilled, he might spoil his relations with his fellow Muslim because of his greater expectation.
Similarly, a person who follows Sunnah will always return the giver with something better and this creates love, friendship and brotherhood amongst each other.
Thus when we do deeds for the sake of Allaah and hoping for His reward alone, then we won't have expectations from people, then this leads to peace of mind and success in this world and the hereafter.
The purpose of giving gifts is to bring joy to both the giver and receiver, promote goodwill, and make for a closer relationship. However, if gift-giving goes amiss, there is a risk of making the receiver uncomfortable and creating an unpleasant situation for both sides. To avoid any ill-effects from your gift-giving practices, keep in mind these simple tips:
WHEN YOU GIVE:
Be sure of the true purpose of the gift. Beyond saying the gift is for a particular holiday or occasion, think through how well this gift will express your feelings for this person. To figure this out, ask yourself: How much do I really care about this person? How much time, energy, and money am I willing to spend to select just the right gift for him or her? Let the answers guide you throughout this process.
Do your homework about the receiver. Be observant about his or her favourite items, things he or she might need, or things that would be a meaningful expression of your relationship. Try to remember comments about favourite colors, foods.... As needed, ask someone else who knows the person, explaining that the purpose of your inquiry is to help learn something that will help you select a special gift. I think most people are willing to help with ideas.
Be sensitive to personal and cultural differences. With such a diverse population in our society, it is important to learn something about a person's ethnic, religious, and cultural practices along with their personal likes and dislikes, before you present a gift. Take time to learn what's appropriate and what's not in different communities to gain insights on what a person would or would not appreciate as a gift. Even we are all Muslims, some items may be taken differently by different people.
Present your gift with style. The best way to present a gift is always beautifully wrapped and in person. And when you do, present your gift held with both your hands as though you are holding it on a silver platter.
WHEN YOU RECEIVE:
Show your appreciation when receiving a gift in person. Always put a smile on your face as a gift is being presented. Receive the gift with both hands . Say thank you along with a brief expression of appreciation.
Let the giver know as soon as possible when a gift has arrived. Make every effort to let the sender know you received a gift sent by mail or messenger (email, fax, or telephone call is fine). Then follow it up by sending the proper thank-you note as soon as possible if possible.
Be sensitive to opening a gift in front of others. Some people open gifts as soon as it is received, even in front of an audience and other groups of people. Know that in many countries it is not customary or appropriate to open gifts in front of other people. They are kept to be opened alone.
Know the bottom line. Always, always hand write a thank you note for every gift you receive, no matter what---regardless of whether you like the gift or not, even if you plan to exchange the gift or give it away. Or show your appreciation.
No comments:
Post a Comment